Bringing home a newborn for the second time is a little different from your first experience. While in the first one, your only focus is on how to care for a baby, in the second one, it is among your duties to follow the changes in the needs of the older sibling after the baby is born. However, you should not forget that you are now more experienced in baby care.
Pregnancy Process
Preparing the child before the baby is born is very important, but there are a few things you should pay attention to while doing this. . For example, it would be beneficial not to inform your preschool child about the pregnancy before your belly becomes visible. Since preschool children's concept of time is not fully formed, receiving the news early can make them excited and impatient in this process. In fact, 9 months seems like a very long time for them. However, you should definitely share it with your child after your belly becomes visible.
It is useful to be planned in this process. As the birth time approaches, inform your child about the process you will experience. You should inform him/her that you will be going to the hospital and how long you will stay there (if you will be hospitalized at night) and who will provide his/her care during this period. This way, children know what awaits them when that day comes.
It is of course important to prepare the older sibling before birth. Receiving information from the child's parents, the person he trusts the most, will, over time, erase the question marks in his mind and reduce his anxiety level. However, while doing this, the age and developmental characteristics of the older child will be a guide in terms of managing the process.
Children under 2 years old may not understand what it means to have a new sibling. However, you can look at picture books together and talk about the new addition to your family and talk about the concept of 'sibling'.
Children between the ages of 2-5 are still very attached to their parents and may be jealous of their parents sharing their attention with the newborn. . In this case, you can explain that the baby is too young and needs attention because he cannot meet his own needs.
When you go shopping for the baby, you can ask your older sibling's opinion about making a choice. If he wants to help by encouraging him to play, you can tell him that he can. (However, if the child does not want it, he should definitely not force it.)
In this process, the older child may wonder whether he or she received the same attention as a baby. You can talk about your child's birth story together and look at baby pictures.
Also, make sure your older child receives individual attention when the new baby arrives, no matter how old he or she is. If you're taking photos or videos, include your older child. Don't let the newborn baby be the only thing on the agenda when relatives or guests come to visit. During the conversation, you can mention the older sibling's support in this process. During these visits, your guests can bring gifts for the baby. The older sibling may feel worthless in such situations. As parents, keeping 1-2 gifts at home can be a savior for this process.
Try to keep routines as regular as possible in the first days and weeks when the baby comes home. This is because your child may attribute their changing routines to the baby's arrival home.
For example, it may not be a good idea to start the older child at school and enter the orientation process immediately after birth. The child may think that he or she is exiled when the new baby comes home.
If you are planning to change a room for the baby, plan this by consulting the opinion of the older sibling at least 1-2 weeks before birth.
Toilet training your child. If you are considering giving birth or think that you are at an important milestone, such as planning for the baby to move from a crib to a bed in the bedroom, I recommend making such changes some time before birth or some time after the baby comes home. They want to help with care, and often this responsibility gives them great pleasure. You can see this as an opportunity. This process can create a chance for siblings to interact in a positive way. However, if your child does not show any interest in the baby/ignores it, do not worry and do not force it. It may take time.
Make sure to spare time for your older child while the baby is sleeping. Knowing that you have special time just for him or her can help ease any resentment or anger about the new baby.
Children may have difficulty coping with the addition of a new family member. Encourage older children to talk about their feelings. Despite all these factors you pay attention to, children wonder how far they can go and may want to test their limits. If they make a move that will endanger the baby; You should not loosen your boundaries and warn them by saying, "When you treat someone like this, it may hurt." But also try to understand what emotions motivate this behavior. If you think that there is an increase in behaviors that could harm the baby and these attempts are becoming more frequent, it may be a signal that your child needs to spend more one-on-one time with you. In this case, you can talk about the fact that his feelings are important but that he should express them appropriately.
Despite all the precautions you have taken, if you think that you are not in control and can no longer cope, be sure to get support from an expert.
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