Given the general interest in personal relationships, you would think that of course we would want to know why close relationships are in danger. We know this up to a point. Many of us spend money on popular psychology books on love, friendship and marriage, discuss our personal problems with each other, and some of us need professional counseling. All of these are indicators that we think and ponder about relationships. But unfortunately, our beliefs and symbols about ourselves and our relationships are a bad mix of fairy tales, television culture and soap operas. All of these create expectations that are neither fully achievable nor desirable. We can only escape the impact of all this by better understanding people and personal relationships.
When long-term relationships loosen or end, people often ask "What happened?" he asks. What could be the reasons for us to investigate and investigate this situation? Is it an effort to repair a relationship that is about to end, is it an effort to detect a problem in order to avoid a similar problem, or is it our desire to participate in the doubled-up gossip going around?
Our biggest mistake is that we use our personal relationships, especially family and marriage relationships, in our daily lives. We compare it to objects and think that they will not break down unless there is an external influence. We perceive and think of human relationships as static. The best proof that we think of human relations, especially family and marriage relations, as static is the language and behavior we use. When a relationship ends, “What happened to the relationship?” we think that some factors intervene and damage the relationship, at least partially. Most of us have other things like illness, economic problems, sexual problems, infidelity, family problems, etc. We tend to think that our relationship will dissolve. In short, we tend to constantly look for external factors as the reason for the end of our relationships. When a relationship ends, both those involved and outside observers tend to look for a problem that caused the relationship to end and look for the answer to why it ended. But the best and simplest explanation cannot reach the conclusion they need to reach. lar: The relationship is over because the two people are no longer related to each other.
Dynamic systems, by their nature, cannot function unless they receive constant energy. A baby may die from a traumatic injury or from malnutrition. Trees may die as a result of lightning strikes or as a result of drought. A radio or television may not work if it cannot receive enough signal. It's the same in personal relationships. They are not durable things that resist despite external forces. Rather, their lifespan can be extended if something is done to ensure their survival, when both parties are constantly in meaningful relationships with each other.
Perceiving relationships as durable objects rather than dynamic activities causes a number of problems. We try to protect durable objects from destructive forces by creating a shield against them: we erect fences around our houses; We lock our doors. Likewise, we believe that we can keep our relationship alive by protecting it from damaging external influences. We keep our spouses away from attractive members of the opposite sex; we protect ourselves from material destruction. But we can forget to build relationships
Read: 0
