In order for people to develop a perception of attachment, they need love, attention, empathy, respect, compassion, understandingand protection. Closeness and a sense of belonging are the two most important ways to relate to others. Intimacy refers to our closest relationships (mother, father, lover, spouse); The feeling of belonging provides harmony to our social relationships. For some individuals, it is very difficult to establish a secure bond with a loved one and feel close and belonging in adulthood. In fact, the attachment problem is not immediately noticeable in these people, they even seem to adapt very well, but their favorite feeling is usually (most frequently felt)loneliness. Regardless of the circumstances, they generally desire a relationship that they have never had before. He doesn't feel like anyone knows him deeply or is deeply interested in him.
Therefore, depending on his coping style with his deprivation, he is usually either always emotionally disappointed by the opposite sex, or more eager to experience love platonically, or emotionally. They try to cope with this unnamed nightmare by being giving and continuing relationships with people who are the opposite, but the result is still the same, less closeness, less belonging. And along with the gnawing feeling of loneliness, there is a deep and constant belief that the need to be loved will never be met. The experience of emotional deprivation is quite difficult to define, because it involves very few thoughts, is related to feelings, and the deprivation begins very early, that is, it originates from the relationships with our primary caregiver established in the early period.
The reflections of emotional deprivation in adulthood are most likely to occur with the opposite sex that requires closeness. It manifests itself in relationships. It has different reflections. The first of these is to be very insistent in human relations and no matter how much people give you, it is never enough. You are either too needy or too demanding. Some people compensate for this deprivation by feeding the needs of other people. Going out of your way to provide for your friends or children, or volunteering or doing work that involves helping people, is an excellent way to compensate for deprivation. The final reflection is that people are chronically disappointed. Being confused, not trusting people to be with you emotionally as a result of relationships, and thinking that you are not understood are the results of emotional deprivation. Emotional deprivation, depending on the nature of the relationship with the early caregiver in adult life, either covers the whole life, or not everyone is seen as deprived people, it only covers a limited area, especially those in love.
Most people have a very successful business life, quite This belief, which cannot be put into words and is very difficult to experience and even detect, lies behind the fact that, despite having extensive social relationships and a generally highly functional life, he experiences a repetitive pattern, inability to keep pace, or chronic disappointments when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. Because emotional deprivation is something that is missing, something that the child has never known…
If the person you are in a relationship with gets too close to you and you start finding suitable reasons to end the relationship, you reinforce your deprivation by sabotaging your relationship, that is, you become overly sensitive to neglect. If you are waiting for your lover to read your mind and magically meet your needs, if you surrender to a deep silence every time in conflict situations in relationships, or if you are extremely aggressive and demanding, try to feel the "neglected, deprived" child within you. Understanding is the first step in change.
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