Jealousy is a universal feeling that can be seen in every period of life and that every person can experience from time to time. Jealousy that occurs in childhood may have various reasons, and each child may react differently due to this emotion. When it comes to a new baby; Your child, who has been the apple of his family's eye until that moment and is used to having all the attention on himself, may feel abandoned, abandoned, insecure and jealous. Parents' statements such as "be quiet, you'll wake up the baby", "we can't go to the park, because the baby is sleeping", "I can't take care of you right now, because I'm changing your brother's diaper", which use the older child's sibling as an excuse for every obstacle, can also play a role in reinforcing jealousy. Young children may also be jealous of their elders because they see that their elder siblings can easily do what they cannot do, while they cannot stand or walk. This situation may cause feelings of jealousy in the child. Divorces and remarriages are also situations that can increase jealousy.
Many different symptoms can be seen in children who feel jealous:
-Regression in behaviors such as baby speech, thumb sucking, bedwetting,
-Disruption in sleep patterns, wanting to sleep with parents,
-Increase in fears,
-Not wanting to go to school in order not to leave home in school-going children,
-Physical complaints such as abdominal pain and headache,
-Being extremely angry, having difficulty calming down, hitting the environment, parents, siblings or objects,
-Silence or introversion These are the symptoms that can be seen in children who feel jealous.
To deal with sibling jealousy; It is important to prepare the child appropriately for the arrival of the sibling and to exhibit appropriate behavior during the process. For this purpose, inform your child about the arrival of his sibling in accordance with his age and development level. You can choose a birth gift for the new baby together and ensure that the baby comes with a gift for his sibling. With the arrival of the new baby, do not make any changes in your child's life as much as possible. For example, starting the sibling to school immediately after his birth, separating his room, etc. Situations can exacerbate sibling jealousy. If your baby arrives If there are absolute changes you need to make with your baby, complete these changes 4-5 months before birth. Having an assistant with the mother during birth will prevent your child from being indifferent when the mother is taking care of the baby. When the baby sleeps, the mother spends time with the older sibling, holds him in her arms, and expresses how much she loves him verbally and behaviorally, which will help your child cope with the feeling of jealousy. It is very important not to make jokes that trigger jealousy and to give your child the opportunity to help his sibling.
It is important to meet the child's feeling of jealousy with empathy, you need to show understanding by putting yourself in his shoes. Children should not be punished for feeling jealous. Special time events can be planned to provide your child with the opportunity to express his feelings. One should not condemn or shame jealousy behavior. Comparisons should not be made between children. It would be appropriate for family elders not to intervene in the disagreements between siblings unless they are too severe, and to give the siblings the opportunity to solve their problems themselves. If it is necessary to intervene in siblings' fights, it is important to focus on finding a solution together, not on who is right.
Remember, jealousy is normal, what is important is its severity. If you think you have taken sufficient precautions and support your child, but your problems continue or you observe the above-mentioned jealousy symptoms severely, it would be appropriate to seek support from a child psychiatrist.
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