Hello my dear readers. In today's article, I wanted to discuss the issue of anger management with you. Because anger management; It is one of the problems that I encounter frequently in my psychotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, this frequency has increased a little more recently. Of course, I could not remain indifferent to this situation and decided to write an article on this subject. I will try to convey to you, my valued readers, my knowledge on this subject as simply as I can, without overwhelming it with theoretical concepts. Before explaining the situations in which anger occurs and the problems that arise when we encounter anger, I think we need to find an answer to the question of what anger is and what it means. Because, as far as I have observed around me, people confuse anger with aggression. For this reason, anger remains in the mind as a negative emotion. However, the emotion of anger has serious functions. After explaining what anger is, I move on to the situation in which anger occurs and I try to explain it as much as I can. Forgive me in advance if I speak rudely.
What is Anger?
When we look at the word meaning of anger, we see hurt, threat, injustice. Meanings such as anger, rage, rage or aggressive reactions shown by the individual in response to being hindered or intimidated by the individual emerge. Anger; It is an emotion such as joy, joy, love, fear, anxiety, curiosity. Anger is just an emotion. Moreover, it is a very natural feeling that is innate, that is, in our nature. Everyone experiences this feeling, so it is actually a universal feeling. However, there is a difference in the way people experience anger. While some express it in a nice way without causing any harm, some unfortunately express it by causing great harm to themselves and to those around them. On the other hand, when we look at it, anger is actually an extremely healthy and constructive emotion. Of course, if it is expressed without causing harm, it will be healthy and constructive, otherwise it can turn into a destructive emotion. This destructive feature first harms the person himself, then his relatives and those around him.
Anger; It's a temporary feeling The ani does not remain on the individual permanently. It is very short term. It does not last long and is not permanent. Perhaps the important thing is to get over this feeling in a healthy way. In other words, it means trying to control anger as much as you can, as long as you can, in order not to make the wrong decision and not to harm anyone else, especially yourself. Because the chances of making wrong decisions, making mistakes, causing harm, or engaging in aggressive behavior are slightly higher. We can say that anger is a very powerful source of energy. It is necessary to learn to use this energy appropriately. Anger is an emotion that can be controlled. If an individual learns to control anger, he can turn it into a beneficial, healthy, useful and educational emotion. This situation is not a very remote possibility.
Anger, like other emotions, is not an emotion experienced consciously. What may happen in a moment of anger is definitely the result of the decisions made and choices made. Why am I saying this; Because even in the most unpleasant event that may happen, the other person is immediately blamed. However, this is never the case. The person should try to control his reactions and behaviors in times of anger. If the person cannot control this; This inability to control is not a shameful thing, but the person should definitely get support from a psychologist. Getting support from a psychologist is not a bad thing, in fact, getting support from a psychologist is a very conscious, virtuous and appropriate behavior. Controlling your reactions in times of anger is something that can be learned, and as I emphasized, the address is the psychologist's room. What is said in this room is strictly between the psychologist and the person (client). Confidentiality is essential and is strictly protected by the psychologist.
What is the Function of Anger?
Anger essentially acts as a shield that protects us. What do you think we would do if we didn't have anger when someone wronged us? I say think about it. So what do you think we would do when injustice occurred? Wouldn't we be angry? In such a situation, aren't we protecting our rights? Well, don't we get angry when there is a threat or any danger against us? In such a situation, isn't our anger actually a call for help? Well, if there was no anger, what do you think he would do in the event of a threat? steep? Therefore, anger is an emotion and not a bad feeling.
What is the Difference Between Anger and Aggression?
Express Anger. What makes it worse in our eyes is the aggressive behavior that occurs after anger. It is the behavior of an individual that harms himself, his interlocutor or an object. That is aggression. In other words, it is anger transformed into action and behavior. To summarize, we can say this. Anger is an emotion, even an emotion that should be present in some places. Aggression is not an emotion, it is not anger. Aggression is a behavior, that is, an action.
In what situations is anger an emotion?
When you feel that there is injustice, that is, towards you. Your feeling of anger arises when you think that an injustice has been committed, your rights have been violated, or that there is serious unlawfulness in the incident.
When we are disappointed. Essentially, there are expectations created by the person underneath the disappointment. Disappointment occurs when these expectations are not realized. This causes anger.
We may become angry when we encounter situations that we cannot change.
A feeling of anger may arise when we are given advice even though we do not want or request it.
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When we are under stress is one of the times when we get angry.
Our feeling of anger can also occur when we think that the situation is not reasonable and fair.
We are a little more likely to experience anger when we attribute the events we encounter to the meaning that they are not fair or acceptable.
When we do not fully express ourselves to the other person, this is another time when we become angry.
We may become angry when we feel that we have lost any argument we are in.
When obstacles are placed in front of the goal we are trying to achieve, the feeling of anger may occur when we think that we are blocked.
A threat to ourselves. We can also become angry when we think that there is religion or that an attack will occur.
We have a very important job ahead of us and if division occurs while we are working on this job, we can become angry.
We can become angry when we see the events around us. We may also feel anger when we try to control situations or people.
If we lose control of the situation or event, we will most likely become angry again.
What we say or do. When it is not approved, the feeling of anger is likely to occur.
When we come out of a discussion situation defeated, or at least when we feel defeated, it may be inevitable for us to become angry.
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