The pain of love…The irreparable wound of human history. The pain that grips people, about which it seems that everything has been said in every age. It is a fate written from the beginning that turning one's head cannot prevent what will happen and that the enemy is within us.
Patrick Avrane defines this pain as follows: “The person who experiences pain, whether secretive or talkative, alone or surrounded by a crowd, becomes a hero when faced with the greatest disaster of all, that is, the loss of love. Overcoming this disaster brings one step closer to humanity; "This is just like Orpheus, leaving the loved one behind and returning from hell."
In literature, cinema, theater or casual conversations, everyone looks at this feeling from where they are wounded. The frustration everyone experiences is unique. Werther: “Oh, have people ever been this miserable before me?” He is not wrong when he says: When the pain he experienced crossed the countries and Werther's fever spread to everyone; This book, which was banned on the grounds that it drove young people to suicide, tells us all something about love. Goethe wrote this book based on his own life. “I had lived, loved and suffered greatly!” Putting this incident, which he described as "on paper", put distance between himself and the incident. Thus, Werther, not Goethe, realized the subject's fantasy of killing a part of himself. Suicide, which took place in an imaginary world, protected Goethe from taking action. As Patrick Avrane puts it: “In the pain of love, the lover dies, like Werther, and the subject survives, like Goethe. The deceased is someone else; even though it is something else, a part of the self.”
When it comes to psychoanalysis's explanations of love, Lacan's distinction between the concepts of ideal self and ideal self attracts attention. Love arises when these two coincide with each other, that is, when you find your ideal image in the other. In love, a person presents the other with an ideal image that he/she does not have. At the same time, the being one falls in love with is an idealized person. Sometimes things don't go well, we are rejected by the loved being, and we are left alone with the love we are defeated by, just like Werther. Werther, who could not cope with this pain and died, is Goethe's ego ideal. Did not meet your expectations Ayan Goethe kills the ideal self to protect the object of love. Because it is not the ideal self that dies in the pain of love that cannot be expressed through art, but undoubtedly the object of love. Writer, director, poet, whoever he is, expresses his pain; By conveying it to us through the art in which he finds the opportunity to express, he does not stop the promise he directs to the other. As Patrick Avrane said; “Pain is an indicator of the permanence of love. “Unlike mourning, it does not transform its object into something trivial but perpetuates it.”
“When the lover's eyes turn away, the mirror in which the ideal self is reflected is broken.”
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