Many people view second marriages with suspicion; However, many divorced people tend to start a brand new relationship in the sense of redesigning their lives after divorce.
During this period, people can have many relationships and then conclude these relationships with a new marriage. Second marriages are a way of satisfying the pleasure that people enter with new hope, where they can live positive lives, be happy, and also reach a peaceful family environment. Second marriages are a situation that arises from time to time in order to relieve loneliness and sometimes in the sense of sharing the responsibilities of life.
THE LANGUAGE OF RESEARCH IN SECOND MARRIAGES
There are so many varieties on this subject. Studies have been conducted and the results are quite descriptive. Research shows that people who separate through divorce remarry after 3 to 5 years. Men's remarriage rate is higher and quicker than women's. Many men and women feel that they made mistakes in their first marriage due to their inexperience, and by learning from these mistakes, they feel that they are ready for true love and a beautiful shared relationship and get married again (Gestoff, 1975).
A second marriage is actually like starting a second life. ; Logic is now at the forefront and there is a high probability of having a healthier marriage with the lessons learned from the first marriages.
Of course, second marriages do not happen out of the blue. The family unity may be dispersed due to the death of the spouse or divorce for other reasons. As we mentioned above, this is not actually a scary process and it is a process that should be experienced if necessary. So this is a natural life process.
YOU ARE DIVORCE BUT LIFE CONTINUES
It should never be forgotten that life continues, life is a choice within the ongoing life. No matter how bad a marriage experience people have, the idea of a second marriage emerges after a while. This is where the whole issue comes into focus. The first marriage experience is bad, but the second marriage is still desired. Although people have many reservations about this issue, it is still a good idea. There are second marriages and they are made with the aim of being even happier. People may have some prejudices that they will be negatively affected psychologically by a second marriage. Some of these prejudices may arise from incomplete information and some from incorrect beliefs.
WHAT TO CONSIDER?
There are important points that spouses should pay attention to in their second marriage. A line should definitely be drawn over the past, lessons should be learned from the negativities experienced in the past, but the past should never be remembered, and especially the mistake of making comparisons should not be made. Lessons learned from the past should be put into practice one by one. If one of the couples has been married before and the other has never been married, the person who got married for the first time should know the negative effects of the old life of the person they married and shape their behavior accordingly.
Within one to three years of the marriages that end, most adults get used to their new lives and become emotional. their balance improves. Two-thirds of divorced women and three-quarters of men remarry. As can be seen, divorce does not change the value adults place on the institution of marriage, and the success of second marriages often depends on the success of the stepmother, stepfather and child relationship.
HOW SHOULD THIS SITUATION BE EXPLAINED TO CHILDREN?
Of course, second marriages are not always rosy. The most striking part is that one of the biggest problems encountered is the reactions from children. Individuals who are at the stage of establishing a new relationship can make the child accept the person they will marry with the right approach. The main thing here is the right approach. Children can be well prepared for a new relationship and no detail may be overlooked and the child may view this marriage positively, but some problems are still possible. Except for children whose parents have died, the dream of their parents being reunited has been in their dreams for a long time. This decision will dash the child's dream, in which case the child may show some extreme reactions. Both the married people and the child will experience some difficulties at first. Especially in the early days, it is safe from children. They should not be asked to address the new parent as mother or father.
It would not be realistic to comment on this issue since there is no definitive truth about whether individuals should choose someone their children will love and accept in their second marriage. However, what can be said about this issue is that the happiness of the spouses among themselves will be reflected in the children. Therefore, it is more important for individuals to get along well with each other. Choosing a spouse is a very complex event and many factors play a role in people's selection of a spouse. Whether or not they are compatible with children may be only one of many factors. This is a fact that should definitely not be overlooked.
One of the factors that should be taken into consideration when choosing a spouse is whether the expectations are met or not. For the parents to choose a spouse that suits them, to be happy with them and at peace with themselves, at least to have a happy parent. It indirectly reflects positively on the child. A happy and peaceful parent who has solved their own internal problems, achieved inner peace, reached psychological maturity will undoubtedly have very important contributions to their children.
Read: 0
