We all want children to be socially successful. Although they don't have to be the most popular kid, we expect them to be accepted by their friends.
Friendships are one of the biggest sources of entertainment in a child's life. But they are also critical to development. They form the foundation for lifelong skills such as listening to others, problem solving, and self-expression. As children grow, their friendships begin to play an even greater role in their emotional and personal lives.
When children do not have these relationships, it can be quite difficult to build trusting relationships. Children who are lonely often feel rejected, invisible, or like they have a problem. That's why it's important that we support them as parents and teachers.
Why may children struggle socially?Some possible reasons why a child may not begin to connect with other children include:
They don't understand how to socialize.
The rules of social interaction may seem obvious to you, but they need to be learned. And while most children understand social cues and patterns easily, some children need moresupport and practice
Anxiety. It is normal for children and adults to feel anxious when they enter a new social situation or join a group. Social anxiety becomes more common as children get older.
Not conforming. For some children, the problem is more about the environment. Sometimes, children may feel themselves in an environment where the other person does not have the same ideas or interests as them.
Undeveloped social skills. Every child's developmental process is different. Some children adapt more slowly. They may not yet have developed the same social skills as their peers, or they may have different interests. Children tend to catch up as they get older, but they can feel lonely in the process
How do you know if a child is alone?
When children spend a lot of time alone, you may suspect that they are alone, but this is not the only indicator. It's not appropriate to describe yourself as lonely unless kids complain that they don't have friends or that they're blatantly unhappy. Starting by talking about the times when you felt alone will allow the child to empathize. Sharing emotions, that is, memories, leads children to understand what they are feeling. They may not say right away. If they don't want to say it, try again the next day or two. Since primary school and kindergarten children may have difficulty identifying emotions, they must first understand what loneliness is.
What to say (and what not to say)?
As parents and teachers, we often want to jump right into problem-solving mode when our child has a problem. But first it is better to keep calm and listen to what the child has to say. It's important to give children space to open up and feel heard, to let them know that it's okay to talk about feelings and that you are the people they can turn to when they need help.. For children who feel rejected or invisible, strong>showing your interest will be meaningful to them.
Here are some strategies for good conversation:
Ask open-ended questions.
For example, if the child says he misses spending time with someone he used to see a lot, you can ask questions about it. "What did you really enjoy doing with him? What do you miss most about him?"
Make observations.
If you notice that the child is not spending as much time with friends as before, you can point this out Then give them the opportunity to speak up.
Relax.
Avoid overreacting with too much sympathy or emotion, because that's with her. It can make them feel even worse. Show that you're listening by reflecting back on what they're saying ("It sounds like you're having a hard time") or by saying supportive words like "Sounds hard."
How to help socially struggling children?< For example, if the child has trouble asking someone if they want to hang out, you can work with them to come up with a plan on how to do it.
Practice social skills.
Give children who struggle with their social skills plenty of opportunity to practice. Support the child with what they find challenging. Try role-playing to give him experience.
Give encouragement.
Understand how children are feeling and appreciate their struggle.
Break taboos..
For children who tend to interpret events very negatively, it will help to break the taboo of providing support to raise awareness.
Restrict the screen. If you're worried that all your child wants to do is just look at the screen, remember that screens have become an important way for kids to interact with each other. While it may not make up for face-to-face socialization, the child may be socializing more than you think. Some children tend to socialize more easily online and are more self-explanatory that way. But while the internet can be a lifesaver for children who otherwise have trouble adjusting, face-to-face socialization is paramount.
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