- Do your achievements not satisfy you enough?
- Do you always delay the work that needs to be completed with the thought of "I must do the best"?
- Do you constantly criticize yourself and always focus on your negative aspects? see?
Then you may be a “perfectionist” too. Perfectionists pursue difficult and elusive goals and do not accept the slightest mistake in themselves or others, on the contrary, they see it as a general failure.
Is perfectionism necessary to be successful?
There is a common misconception that perfectionism is necessary for success. However, research shows the opposite, that is, perfectionist attitudes overshadow success! “Success-oriented” people focus on realizable goals and enjoy the process of achieving that goal. On the other hand, perfectionist people are happy when they achieve "perfection", they cannot tolerate their failures and stumbles, and in such cases they begin to question their own values. At the same time, since they have no tolerance for the slightest mistakes of those around them, they often prefer to be the only person in charge of their work, thinking "I can do the best, I don't trust others." Perfectionist people are not open to criticism, because they attribute criticism to their own personality and therefore immediately display a defensive and rigid attitude. However, success-oriented people accept criticism as an opportunity for their own development and move on by learning positive lessons from their own mistakes.
Causes of perfectionism
Research conducted so far shows that the basis of perfectionism is fear of failure and rejection (this is based on the family's approach, especially in childhood and adolescence). It shows that you have self-confidence problems and a "rigid" black or white way of thinking.
If you define yourself as a perfectionist, review this aspect of yourself. It would be useful for you to know, because such a tendency can bring you more harm than good. People with this personality profile are highly likely to experience the following psychological problems at some or all of their lives:
- Depression
- Feeling of guilt
- Low self-confidence
- Low motivation
- Obsessive compulsive behavior
- Eating disorders
- Sleep disorders
- Fatigue, exhaustion
How can you alleviate your perfectionism?
- Just observe for a while; Pay attention to your reactions to events, your expectations about yourself, your general emotional state, your way of thinking, and try to notice your perfectionist tendencies.
- Write down the answers to the following questions in a notebook for a while, and talk to a supportive relative or a psychologist. Share:
-In which areas of your life do you show this tendency?
-How does this behavior and way of thinking affect you?
– -Melli Do you have thought patterns like , should? (Ex: “I must pass every exam I take first place”, “I must always be the most successful employee at work”
What do you need to reduce your perfectionism and adopt a more relaxed approach?
- Make a list of all your perfectionist thoughts and behaviors that you want to change and determine new alternatives for each of them.
Ex: “Everything I do must be perfect, even the slightest mistake. It is my failure!" Instead of thinking "I can make mistakes just like everyone else, this does not mean that I have failed, there are many things I have done and achieved so far" as an alternative.
- The advantages that perfectionism brings to your life. and make a list of the disadvantages. This way, you may see that this tendency is worth many negativities.
- Observe the people around you, if you have friends who are not perfectionists, ask them to show you every improvement you have made in this regard, to motivate you. Ask them to.
Note: Give yourself time when applying all these methods; Continue your development in this direction without rushing and improving your awareness. Remember, what you are trying to alleviate is your “perfectionism”, so do not see this process as a project that needs to be completed on time and in the best way (!)!
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