There are different approaches to holding the baby in the arms, which can confuse mothers. Some approaches are in favor of holding the baby as little as possible, which is generally to prevent the baby from getting used to being held and getting spoiled and to ensure that the mother is comfortable. Some approaches are just the opposite, they recommend mothers to live almost attached to each other for a long time, as if their babies were still in the womb. No single approach to holding the baby is actually correct; Because every baby and every mother-baby relationship is different.
Babies begin to express themselves from birth and even pregnancy. They seek the presence of receptive parents who are willing to listen to them. Since both their social equipment and language skills have not yet developed, they actively use their body language to express their needs. Crying is the most effective way babies use to express themselves.
Cutting the Baby When It Cries
It is an obvious fact that touch, in addition to its many positive contributions to the child, contributes greatly to both emotional intelligence and language development. Babies need to bond. Especially in the first months, they need to receive a consistent and loving response to their cries. When it comes to showing love to your baby, never stop yourself. Every touch, every attempt to soothe your baby, every feeding, every rocking, every kiss, every show of interest and attention teaches him that the world he has just met is a loving, nurturing, good place. By doing this, you will help your baby internalize that human contact is comforting and beneficial.
Babies need hugs and skin contact in order to embrace life safely. However, in any case, holding a crying baby is an attitude that disrupts babies' routine, makes them completely dependent on adults, and prevents them from using their existing resources.
Babies should be held especially when they cry, especially in the first months. The more the child is held and caressed, the better the response will be; Because touching the baby is extremely important. It not only calms the child down, but also builds the child's self-confidence. It is now accepted that it increases Caressing the baby, loving him, saying nice words makes him feel that you love him very much and find him very beautiful.
The mother's responsive response to her baby will result in fewer communication problems in the following months. It also helps the baby internalize the message that he will 'rest' when he needs it. It should not be concluded from this that the baby should be held every time he cries. When babies cry, it may also mean that they are protesting something. The baby should also be allowed to protest. When necessary, parents tolerating their baby's crying means seeing their baby as a separate individual and accepting their anger or disagreement. Some parents worry that if they don't go to their baby immediately when they cry, their baby will get the message that they've abandoned him or her. It is necessary to intervene in the baby every time he cries and help him calm down. A baby whose cry is not responded to for a long time may develop an oversensitive stress detection system.
Parents' ability to understand what their babies are trying to tell by crying and to respond quickly to their babies will cause them to cry less over time. In the first months, the mother's correct evaluation of the signs coming from her baby depends on how sensitive the mother is.
It is a fact that your crying baby needs your affection, but it is unnecessary to hold yourself responsible for his crying. By nature, your baby cries in line with its own internal needs. Some babies cry more often and louder, even when they are in their mother's arms. This is not an indication that their mother's capacity is inadequate. Your part is to show him that he is not alone and make him feel the peace he needs as much as you can.
Research on holding babies has shown that children who are held frequently, even for short periods of time, cry less. The research, which was designed based on these results, examined at what time of the day children are most restless and agitated. Start by examining what you are doing. Once the results of this first step have been drawn and charted, try holding the baby for a short time just before the time when he or she is expected to cry, and you will find that holding the baby for even a very short time will greatly reduce the crying during times of tension. The conclusion of this research was that lifting children out of their beds and holding them in their laps meets their stimulation needs, thus relieving their restlessness and reducing their clamor of unhappiness.
It is very important for you to pay attention to and respond to your baby's cries. Because in this way, he realizes that he has the power to get something when he needs it. In addition, seeing that you are trying to solve his problems will help him discover his value in your eyes, and this will bring him the self-confidence he needs. The way you soothe him after he becomes restless and cries shows that prosperity will come after the troubles he will encounter in life, and even when he grows up, he will face difficulties with determination, with this first thing he learned in his infancy.
If you immediately respond to your baby's crying and rush to his aid in the early days, you will notice that he will start crying less within a few months. This will be an advantage for you as being a mother to a happy baby is much easier and more fun. Also, the sooner you offer remedies to your crying baby, the sooner you can stop his crying. If you delay, it may take a long time to silence him, and even if he stops crying, his sobs will make both you and him uneasy. Because his desperate looks and trembling voice may make you feel guilty.
Your baby, who gets an early response to his cries, learns that the only thing he has to do when he needs something is to cry. This certainly does not mean that he will be spoiled. On the contrary, it shows that he has developed a method to fulfill his wishes, just like an adult. After a short while, you will know him so well that you will understand and meet his needs before he starts crying. For example, mothers He knows well that his babies like to be held as soon as they wake up. You can go to his/her routine waking hours and offer him the affection he wants without waiting for him to call you with his little screams. In this way, when your baby wakes up, he will feel more at peace knowing that you will visit him in a short time. You can both enjoy understanding each other.
Some mothers think that when their babies cry, they are disciplining them by leaving them alone until they stop talking. It is true that babies who see that no one comes to them when they cry stop crying after a while, but the negative consequences of this are much greater than the so-called benefits. Seeing that the mother, who met all his needs for nine months, is distant from the outside world will make it very difficult for your baby to adapt to his new life, and will cause the relationship between you to not be closer than that of a neighbor or relative.
When your little baby cries, you don't have to be in a dilemma about when exactly you should hold him/her. Reach out your hands to him as soon as he cries. Try all the ways to calm him down. Eventually, you will discover the one that works best. Being there when you need it is much more important than finding the most effective way on the first try.
Why Is My Baby Crying?
Babies try to express their wishes and troubles by crying because they cannot talk. There are many reasons why babies cry. Such as hunger, ear infections, stomach aches, gas pains, soiling the diaper, teething, the baby being overtired, and having a colicky baby.
Babies cry an average of 3 hours a day at different times, this is normal. A colicky baby cries for three hours three days a week for three weeks. Unlike other babies, all the crying happens at once and in the same period of time.
Instead of falling into despair in the face of a crying baby, first make sure that there is a physical reason that may cause crying.
What Can I Do Other Than Holding My Baby?
The babies of parents who constantly try to calm their babies by holding them in their arms, without investigating the reason every time they cry, get used to being held.
Allowing the baby to cry for a while if there is no physical discomfort,
Allowing the baby to watch by setting up a sound, musical, moving toy that can be hung on the crib to keep him busy,
Loving the baby by holding him in your arms when he is not crying,
Calming the baby by drawing his attention to a different point, for example, making him calm down by listening to music,
Trying to comfort the baby by stroking his back, giving a baby massage, etc.
Wrap your baby in a blanket/cover and hold him in your arms.
Music you play at low volume, a lullaby you sing, or even the sound of a washing machine or vacuum cleaner running in the background can relax your baby.
Swing your baby on your lap or swing.
Try massaging your baby.
Show him an object he likes and is interested in.
Give something to his mouth to suck.
Allowing the baby to cry for a while if there is no physical discomfort, Having the baby watch by setting up a loud, musical, moving toy that can be hung on the crib to keep him busy, Loving the baby by holding him in his arms when he is not crying, Calming the baby by drawing his attention to a different point, for example, making him calm down by listening to music, trying to comfort the baby by stroking his back, giving a baby massage, etc. . First, try to find out why he is crying and ensure that the communication between you is established in the healthiest way possible.
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