We are leaving behind a full year spent with our family, with social restrictions and precautions during the pandemic period; It is actually in our hands to turn the problems in our family structure, which are felt a little more during this period, into a crisis / opportunity. Before entering a new year, let's get to know our family structure and strengthen the dynamism of our family with a solutionist perspective. If we pay attention to just a few important points; During the pandemic, we manage to protect both our family's and our own mental health, as well as our physical health, with our limited social life and by following the precautions.
The family institution is an important social unit in all societies. Therefore, family is considered the foundation of society. In other words, family; “It is the world in miniature.” To understand the world and societies, it is enough to examine families. Because family is people's first school. Values such as love, respect, tradition and custom are first acquired in the family and passed on to future generations. Failure of the family to function, or family members being too close and intertwined with each other; or they are too disconnected from each other; It creates an unhealthy family structure. In this context, since all family members are evaluated with a holistic approach to the problems; It is possible to transform an unhealthy family structure into a healthy family structure.
What is a Healthy Family Structure?
Healthy families perform their functions very well. Family members are satisfied with the communication within the family and are psychologically healthy; There is little conflict in the family and they adapt very easily to developmental variables. They cope with stressful events very well. Healthy families;
They are committed to each other and have high self-confidence,
The communication between them is open and clear,
They turn crises in the family into opportunities,
They support each other's success. and there is a division of labor between them,
They do not use psychological and physical violence against each other,
They show a forgiving approach to each other's mistakes.
Which of these features do you have in your home? What do you have? All or some?
Look at your own family structure from this perspective.
What is an Unhealthy Family Structure?
The general atmosphere in the family is conflictual and disorderly. Failure of the family to function, or family members being too close and intertwined with each other; or it may be because they are too disconnected from each other. Unhealthy families;
They have low self-esteem and family members do not trust each other,
Internal family communication is not clear because it is closed, indirect and vague,
Family members fail to resolve conflicts between them. and resentments are long-lasting,
Family rules are strict, authority is in an absolute person and there is no flexibility,
They compare their own family structure with other family structures and say, "Why did this happen to me, although I deserve it?" I do not!" They experience disastrous scenario regrets such as,
Unhealthy families are constantly tense and always sweep their family problems under the rug.
Is it possible to transform a family with unhealthy family habits into a healthy family structure? It is possible, here you go:
Avoid Rude Speech: Family members should never speak to each other using hurtful, rude or abusive words. In addition, name-calling and speaking in a sarcastic and unpleasant manner also damage family relationships. You shouldn't say anything to your family members that you wouldn't say to your best friend. When communicating, you should know your body language well and pay attention to the consistency of your body language and verbal language. In communication, know the importance of listening rather than telling, but listening wholeheartedly, and using I language instead of you language.
Avoid prolonging resentment: Prolonging resentment and resentment negatively affects all members of the family. Try to improve your conflict resolution skills, this will positively protect the internal dynamic of your family and the mental health of your family members. If you are wrong, apologizing is a matter of pride or You should not see it as a humiliating act. Your communication should be clear, understandable and non-accusatory; Problems should be resolved before they escalate by expressing your own feelings.
Adopt Appreciation: Every individual wants to be accepted, adopted and approved from the moment they open their eyes to the world. This is one of the most natural needs not only of children but also of adults. However, in unhealthy family structures, instead of the feelings of appreciation and acceptance that family members feel for each other, there are sentences containing contempt and disdain. Don't be afraid to let your family members know that you are proud of them, appreciate their achievements, and support their dreams. Discover the awareness that there will be individuals whose self-perception and self-confidence are supported by love, rather than parents who love their children in their sleep so that they do not get spoiled.
Do Not Withhold Your Love: No matter how old your family members are, do not hesitate to make them feel your love, tell them your love, touch them with love and embrace them. The energy of a loving touch has the power to heal many wounds.
Also, if you fail to resolve your family conflicts despite all this; With the counseling you will receive under the guidance of Family Counseling, you will take steps towards a healthier and happier family by getting to know yourself and getting to know us in your relationship.
Read: 0
