Actually, there are so many topics to write about, so many problems on the agenda. But this week I want to push all of them aside from my desk and talk about a universal depression, a lethal syndrome in the world: SUICIDE!
A man is walking on the ocean beach and throws something into the sea in a hurry. He comes across someone. When he gets a little closer, he notices that this person is throwing the starfish washed up on the beach into the sea and asks, "Why are you throwing these starfish into the sea?" When the person, who continued to quickly throw the things he collected into the sea, replied "so they can live", the man was surprised and said: 'Okay, but there are thousands of starfish here. There's no way you can throw them all away. "What difference will it make if you throw them into the sea?" he asks. The person who picks up another starfish from the ground and throws it into the sea replies, "Look, a lot has changed for him."
I start my article with the thought that a lot changes for a starfish.
In my life I was a middle school student when I read the first suicide news in the newspaper: "11-year-old Yemeni could not stand the violence of his stepmother and hanged himself in his room..." I was very saddened by this news, with the feelings of adolescence that I had just met. I was under its influence for a long time and I still am.” How could an eleven-year-old girl (not even a teenager yet) choose such a death, why would she hang herself? Let's say he was very unhappy. What about Robin Williams, that lovely person who won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Grammy and whose face spread smiles and made everyone laugh? So how could he commit suicide? What about the farewell video of a 34-year-old young man before his suicide? We witness that suicide incidents are increasing day by day in written, visual and social media. We feel heartbroken every time we hear news of suicide. But of course it is not easy for such a person to decide to take his own life. If we can feel the pain of a small splinter in our hand, there must be great reasons or serious illnesses to perform a behavior that is painful enough to end our lives. Then why do people commit suicide?
Many studies show that suicide is It occurs as a result of at least one triggering event. The most important triggering events for suicide are; Fighting, abandonment, school failure or exam, dismissal, exposure to violence. The most important factors in the emergence of this feeling are psychological disorders and situational life crises. What I mean by situational life crises is unexpected and sudden negative situations. For example; Experiences such as divorce, being widowed or separated, failure, loss of status, contracting a serious illness, losing a loved one are events that affect all people. While individuals can overcome these difficult times on their own, there are also situations where they are forced. However, there were moments when it was impossible to get out of the situation. This is definitely not a mental illness, but a period of strain. In case of situational life crises, failure of the individual to receive psychological help unfortunately results in suicide. All of these are troublesome living conditions in which a person feels helpless and hopeless.
Suicide is actually a state of turning one's life upside down. Sociologist Durkheim notes that misery alone does not cause suicides. Stating that economic crises cause suicide, Durkheim said that the reason for this is not wealth or poverty; It indicates that there is a change in the social structure. What is important is that the change in society has turned the living conditions of the individual upside down.
There is always a search for a solution in suicides. Suicide has come up as an answer to the question of how to get out of this situation. Psychological facts are incompatible with Aristotelian logic, and this is also seen in suicide. While the person is preparing for death and attempting suicide, he also asks for help. Here was a contradiction. The approach to them is a sensitive issue in this respect. For this reason, our aim in approaching the person who talks about suicide is "What changes should be made in their living conditions so that life can be lived again?" is to seek an answer to the question. When I do this; Warning, generalizing (like everyone does), giving advice, belittling the problem, and judging are the most dangerous attitudes. It should not be forgotten that attempting suicide The symbol should never be considered as a "show", "blackmail", or "trick"
The benefit of psychotherapy in people prone to suicide is, of course, undeniable. The conflicting emotional state of a person who is torn between life and death will begin to improve with immediate psychological support. Because such conflict situations are also the most important periods when people make new decisions for themselves and their lives, renew themselves and are therefore open to change.
According to Sigmund Freud, who is influential in the field of psychology, "suicide is committed by an object of love that has previously been identified with It is a state of depression resulting from directed aggression; He later defined it as turning aggression on oneself.” Yes, Suicide is an act of violence directed at oneself. A person who feels hopeless either attacks those around him or destroys himself. Violence is one of the main problems threatening our country. The feeling of suicide often appears as an accompanying behavior. With this feeling, we see that the person's sadism is turned towards himself. Malapert also agrees with me on this; He says, “suicide is the product of egoism.”
If we list the symptoms of suicide; Quick anger, extreme irritability, quick crying, extreme sadness, lack of interest in things one likes, sleep disorders, change in appetite, self-blaming conversations, talking about topics related to death, withdrawing, not talking to anyone, saying that one is weak and tired, aggressive behavior..
Although Freud previously stated that suicide could not be explained and said "Suicide is an unsolved problem in terms of science", in his article titled "mourning and melancholy" he says that the sadism in a person is turned towards the person in states of depression. According to Freud, in melancholia (a state of severe depression), the person's ego and the love object that he reflects on himself, in a sense, is fused with each other. If he cannot replace the object of love he has lost with a new object, as is the case in normal people, he will direct the forces of aggression against himself that he directed towards the object he lost.
On average in the world, Every 3 seconds someone attempts suicide; One person dies by suicide every 40 seconds
The greatest preparation for death is not to postpone living. Living is what should not be postponed. The question of what it means to live is related to how a person gives meaning to life. Stoic philosophers have managed to summarize this situation in a short sentence: "To live well is to die well."
I end my article with a quote from the writer Goethe, who caused many suicide cases with his novel The Sorrows of Young Werther: "In his hand If there is air, light and love of friends left, do not be sad.”
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