Today, we want to write our questions about our family, spouse and even our relationship directly into the search engine on the internet and get information:
“My spouse does not love me”, “Signs of an unloving spouse”, “Does my spouse love me?”, “My spouse Doesn't he love me?", "My husband doesn't love me" etc...
The answers to all these questions lie within the relationship itself. As psychologists, we can find the right answers to our questions by examining the pattern of the relationship, slowing down the speed of communication, regulating its rhythm. It is possible to both make sense of our own emotions and reactions and to know the meaning of our spouse's behavior.
The coldness between spouses usually stems from not being able to express our feelings in a way that our spouses can understand. Men tend to think more logically, analytically and realistically by nature. This is what is expected from them. However, society encourages men to become more emotionless, merciless, cold, work-oriented and loveless. Men who are raised and raised in this way by their closest relatives from a young age are of course later labeled as "emotional men", "indifferent men", "cold men", "unloving men". This is the germination of the seeds planted in her mind when she was a little child.
The same applies to women. As a result of society's pressures; We are raising young girls who are afraid to show their love, who constantly keep themselves on the defensive, who are cold and see love as a transaction. Afterwards, we expect these young girls and boys, who are devoid of emotions, unaware of communication, and have not known love, to be happy, to love each other, and to get along very well.
“How can I understand that my wife loves me?”, “How does a woman who does not love me behave?”, “My spouse is uninterested in me.”
So how can you attract your spouse's attention? Ask yourself these questions;
-How did you attract his attention when you first met?
-What issues do you fight with your spouse about? What happens as a result of these fights?
-When you behave, your spouse gets closer, and when you behave, he moves away?
-What are the things you like to do together?
-Parent After it happens, share it with your partner according to the past. How is our job? Why?
-Do your relationships with your own family of origin affect your relationship? How?
-What are your boundaries between you and your own families? Is it loose? Are there no limits?
-Does your spouse listen to you? Can you share your deep feelings?
-Can you trust and talk to your spouse when you are anxious or indecisive?
-How do you get back together when you fight or disagree?
-Do you have special memories just for you two?
All these questions and their answers are very important. What is more important is the answers we give to all questions by thinking for ourselves. The relationship is not one-sided. The relationship is reciprocal. We can also call it action-reaction. Remember the way you lived when your spouse married you. Your behaviors, your emotions, your expectations, your dreams... Now come to today and compare. Of course, it is unrealistic to expect it to be the same. However, if we can adjust ourselves according to every condition and condition, changing situations and new roles, we can ensure continuity without damaging the fabric of the relationship.
Emotions form the fabric of the relationship in couples. It is difficult to define our emotions. We haven't learned. On the contrary, we have been taught and advised to hide our emotions, not to be a slave to our emotions, and not to act emotionally. Knowing and recognizing our emotions is like using a compass. Expanding and unpacking this point of emotions will clearly give us answers to many of our questions.
It is best to reveal, analyze and resolve our emotions in clean, reliable and confidential environments.
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