''The game is my business, don't interfere!''
Generally, parents tell me; He talks about how they don't know how to play with their children, and when they do, the games always end with tension. I want to talk about the most basic reason behind this.
It's been a long time since we adults stopped playing games, and what's worse is that we don't remember the games we played as children. Well, our imagination is not that developed anymore... When we say let's sit down and play a game in our own way, we cannot get along with the child.
I see that the tension that arises in games today is mostly caused by "parents trying to be playmakers". But play is the child's job! No matter how simple or how complex the game is, the child must set up the game.
The child who is manipulated in the game, prevented from playing as he wants, and whose direction of the game is changed, tries to direct you in real life.
Obviously, you “This is my space, my world. If you want to join me, my rules apply, otherwise you have no place here.” says. He feels misunderstood and unaccepted, and this often leads to anger and resentment. The child who does not know how to deal with this generalizes this to real life, may avoid cooperation and act challenging.
One of the things you can do to make your child feel like you are right next to him while playing with him is mirroring. Tell him the details of the game he is playing and the emotions he feels while playing.
“There are a lot of dinosaurs here, they are very angry with each other.”
“Mother and child are hugging each other.”
“This game made you very happy.”
''You are trying to make it as high as you can'''
''This game is now exactly what you wanted''
''The people here are so desperate.''
''This child is very scared, he doesn't know what to do.'' etc...
Even if he wants to include you in the game, it's up to him to accept the role he gives you. Your behavior will make him/her feel happy and understood.
Instead of trying to direct the game, it will be good for the child to be interested in what he/she expects from this game.
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