In today's standards, family is a concept that begins with the marriage of a man and a woman in our country. In good times and bad times, in sickness and in health; It begins with them uniting their lives faithfully until death separates them. Of course, they meet and get to know each other before this. Besides, human beings make mistakes by nature. And again, human beings are social beings. This sociality brings with it rules. The individual does not always follow these rules. The fraudsters and thieves we see in the news; Those who cheat on their spouses or lovers, spread through word of mouth or seen with our own eyes, are also examples of this. All of this amounts to cheating.
So why do people cheat or are deceived?
Many researches have been done on this subject. In a study, it was found that the correct answer rate was higher when people were told that they would receive a reward if they answered the questions correctly. And in this case, it has been observed that the rates of cheating decrease. Studies conducted in social psychology show that the deception factor is affected by awareness of deception and what other individuals do in the situation. Well ; It has been observed that deception is an option and/or the deception factor may increase if the feasibility of this option is confirmed. Another study shows that the idea that personal behavior is affected by a factor outside the individual is a factor that increases deception. The method can be chosen to remind the individual who has such a belief about his sense of individual responsibility and to explain how this situation may affect his own life and the life of the other party in case of cheating behavior. In addition to this, there are also studies showing that people who fear being deceived want to be deceived. In these studies, it was found that a person who is afraid of being cheated on does not give himself up to the relationship because he is afraid of being tied up and abandoned, and therefore alienates his partner; We observe that it sabotages the relationship and thus invites deception.
What would you say if I told you that the value a person gives to himself affects being deceived?
A person with self-confidence problems and/or feelings of inadequacy frequently finds himself with others. comparisons. Unfortunately, they often do this in ways they consider inadequate and/or bad. And in this way, the individual who feels inadequacy pays attention to the harmony between his own characteristics and identity and the society. They aim to be an individual that society will fully approve and appreciate. Because; In this case, they secure a better place in society, and therefore the welfare level of their lives will be higher. In this case, the easiest solution for the individual seeking a solution is to experience that others are not good and/or to notice and highlight those who are in a worse situation than themselves. In this way, he implies that the mistakes they made or the shortcomings they have are not his.
The type of relationships appreciated and approved by today's standards are "monogamous, long-lasting and loyal to each other" relationships. Because a person who has short-term relationships and is not faithful to his or her spouse is a danger to other relationships, such individuals are seen as a "bad" person. For this reason, efforts are made to conform to social expectations by creating pressure through methods such as condemnation and shaming. But many people have significant obstacles in being able to love, fall in love and establish long-term relationships. So why can't everyone love and fall in love? There are various reasons for not being able to have a long-term, close and intense love relationship.
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A person who is afraid that he will be abandoned or not loved enough cannot fall in love. Because; In this case, the individual does not surrender himself to the arms of love and constantly acts cautiously, because he is afraid that he will be easily given up when someone better comes along. In addition, they come to the conclusion that they are not loved even for small things.
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Someone who has a high need to be liked and admired will also have difficulty developing admiration and love. This situation is like a very thirsty person having difficulty sharing his water. He has difficulty admiring and caring for others because he needs it himself. In addition, people who do not trust others and are afraid of being held captive by their emotions may alienate their partners because they cannot fully abandon themselves to the relationship or because they have a limited, controlled relationship, and they themselves will not be able to reach the necessary satisfaction.
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Selfish, limited empathy Individuals who are weak or whose compassion and conscience are not well developed cannot truly love. These types of people are generally people who were exposed to violence and/or maltreatment in their childhood and were not loved and cared for. Because of these situations they have experienced, they prioritize their own needs in the relationships they establish. They do not care about the other party's feelings and needs, they do not empathize.
Cheating; Losing loyalty to the partner while the relationship continues can be defined as exhibiting a behavior that will shake the partner's trust and endanger the relationship and/or hiding this situation.
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