My Child Hits His Friends What Should I Do?

One of the problems that parents often feel helpless about what to do and want to consult an expert; “My child hits his friends, what should I do?”

We encounter many children who try to solve their problems in their social relationships by pushing, hitting, or beating their friends. As experts, we see that children who are defined as "quarrelsome, naughty, disruptive and aggressive" by their teachers, especially during their school life, face problems in both their social and educational lives later in life. After a while, these children turn into children who are excluded by their friends, unwanted in groups, held responsible for the chaos and disharmony within their peer group by their teachers, punished by their families, and constantly remembered with these and similar labels. Naturally, they become angry at the negative reactions they receive and increase their aggressive attitudes and behaviors. For this reason, children who show hitting behavior should be prevented from harming themselves and the people around them, and care should be taken to do this in the most correct way. Of course, parents have a great responsibility in this regard.

If your child hits his friend or anyone else or behaves aggressively, finding out why he does this will make your job much easier. Children can often display aggressive behavior due to emotions and situations such as fear, anger, competition and frustration. So why does a child do this?

• If your child grows up in a house where fights and noise prevail, and witnesses his parents arguing,

• If he plays games

• If he watches violent broadcasts on television that encourage beating and fighting,

• If he is punished frequently

• If your child is beaten or exposed to physical violence

• If your child does not receive enough attention, compassion and love.

• If violence is normalized or even glorified in the child's environment, your child may show hitting behavior.

Apart from these, some neurological problems and traumas can also lead to hitting behavior in children.

A person who hits his friends When investigating why a child does this, you should first look at how you, as parents, react when your child is violent or what precautions you have already taken to prevent it. For example, if Mehmet, whose toy was taken away from another child in the park, hits Ahmet, who took his toy, and receives a reaction saying "Well done, you will defend your rights to my lion son like this", Mehmet firmly engraves the hitting in a corner of his mind as a positive and necessary behavior and gets what he wants in the problems he encounters. To achieve this, he often uses beating as a profitable solution. Sometimes this may be because his friend does not throw the ball to him, sometimes because he is sitting too close to him in the row, sometimes because he does not like people looking at him, sometimes because he just wants to... Ahmet, who was beaten and lost the toy he wanted to play with, learned in practice that hurting makes the other party defenseless. The next time Ahmet goes to the park, he will probably try to take the toy away by pushing and hitting someone who does not share his toy with him... 

Children who have adopted aggressive behavior and learned to use it as a way of solving problems may face many problems related to this issue in the later stages of their lives.

So how will you prevent this and discourage your children from this behavior?

• First of all, you should protect your children from violent broadcasts. You should know the television programs he watches and the computer games he plays and keep them under control.

• You should improve the communication between the individuals in the house and keep the child away from the fight environment. Children imitate what they see from their elders.

• You should not give physical punishment for the child's misbehavior.

• You should ensure that your child can play games in larger environments where he can discharge his energy.

• You should make your child feel that he is important, approach him with love and show interest.

• You should clearly explain to your child which behavior is acceptable and which is unacceptable, appropriate to his age. Especially in the younger age group Long conversations about how bad it is to hit, bite or push children in school are absolutely meaningless. You should convey the situation in short and clear sentences.

• You should be consistent in your reactions to your child.

• You should cooperate with their teachers.

• You should be consistent in your reactions to your child. p>

If your child still continues to show aggressive behavior, it would be useful to get support from an expert.

 

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