Usually “how are you?” We try to fit the answer to the question into two limited patterns such as I am good / I am not good. Sometimes, even when we don't feel well, a simple "I'm fine" answer slips from our lips. Sometimes, even the outcry of the emotion we feel inside us disturbs us, and we try to fit the voice of our inner world into these two limited molds...
Sometimes we cannot name but disturb us inside, sometimes damaging the trust we have in ourselves or our environment, sometimes Disappointment is a negative emotion that makes us think a lot and sometimes gives us a clue as to how we deal with our own emotions... It is a difficult emotion, but like every emotion, it is unique to humans...
Being able to cope with a negative emotion such as disappointment means It is not about suppressing or ignoring the feeling, but rather about accepting the feeling, thinking about its source and taking steps for a solution.
Finding a solution begins with allowing that feeling to be experienced. For this reason, we need to accept that all emotions, whether positive or negative, are normal.
If it is difficult to cope with this emotion in situations where you are disappointed, perhaps you can listen to your own inner voice. You can think about these questions:
- What does perfectionism mean to me?
- Do I accept how natural and human it is to make mistakes? ?
- Am I open to criticism?
- What exactly does losing or winning mean to me?
- Do I have realistic expectations about myself and my environment?
- Am I aware of any other negative emotions that accompany this feeling? For example, such as anxiety, shame, chronic guilt…
In light of all this information, early childhood is very important, especially for the development of healthy emotion regulation skills. In order for your child to internalize that negative emotions are normal as well as positive emotions, you should give your child space to experience losing as well as winning in games, and you should know exactly what the emotion he is feeling is so that he can cope with his emotions. It is important for you to express to him that you will feel the need and to support him emotionally, that is, to help him without interfering with the emotion.
If we need the support of tears to flow out the emotion felt, especially as a result of negative situations, we should allow this and have a healthy emotion. We should not forget that accepting the emotion is the first step in developing regulation skills.
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