Life is beautiful when you love
Sweet days when you love
Just love a bird, a butterfly, a stone....
Zeynep Değirmencioğlu, in the movie "Life is Beautiful When You Love" I think there is no one who doesn't remember what he said. He tried to show unconditional love in a town loved with "because"s and "ifs" that now sees love as a commodity.
We definitely had surveys conducted during school periods, including the question "What is love?" "what is love ?" , “what is the difference between them?” There would be questions and the main purpose of the survey is just to get answers to these questions. The classic answer is “it can't be explained, it has to be experienced.” How do we live these days? We love by digging a well behind our back, according to our interests, according to the money, in short, with sentences starting with "if" and "because".
As you know, it is the wedding season, how many weddings there are, how many great loves, shining eyes when looking at each other, wings spreading. The only thing missing is young people flying with happiness... So what happens next? Is this the amount of love we experience that we cannot explain to those great loves, what changes? Friendships that end not only in marriage, friendships, children left on the streets, elderly people left in nursing homes, animals tortured, plants burned and destroyed... Do we really love?
I would like to summarize today's love with a short story. While a young man was sitting in a restaurant, busy eating the fish on his plate, someone approached him and asked, "Why are you eating the fish?" “Because I love fish,” says the young man. "Oh, you love fish, right? That's why you took that fish out of the water, killed it and ate it, you don't love the fish, you love yourself," he says. Loving to eat fish and loving fish… the loves experienced in our time; We can't go further than loving eating fish, we can't even love fish.
Of course, it is not possible to fit the definition of love into a single sentence. It is an abstract concept and there have been millions of definitions so far. In response to Ferud's definition of love as an effort to satisfy the sexual instinct (libido), Carl Gustav Jung defines "unrequited love". Mevlana Celalddin-i Rum-i, again from Jung's perspective, emphasizes that love is unconditional by saying "come, come, no matter what you are". According to Fromm, love must be possessed. It is nothing. If we see love as something to be possessed, we close off the loved object. When we love as an owner, we see ourselves as the "owner" and the loved one as a "slave" and try to change him according to our own thoughts, behaviors and emotions. When the other elements of love are examined in research, they are closeness, self-disclosure, acceptance, etc. When we love facts like these, we exclude them. Fromm continues as follows: Love is finding and implementing the way to be human and to live humanely.
On the other hand, if we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, safety comes first, then physical needs, and love comes third. Then love is actually a need for us. What we need is not to love or to be loved, but what we need is love. Why do we always think of being loved? Why don't we consider being the one who loves? If we continue from the hierarchy of needs, father; the need for security, mother; Parents are those who meet our physical needs and are closest to us from the moment we are born, with whom we can express ourselves and are our first object of love that reveals itself to us. In addition to the unconditional love we experience, we match the love with the needs met and love the person who always meets our needs like we love eating fish.
Hoping to love fish….
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