After our children are 7 months old, they want to be close to us, their parents, and even when you give them to someone else, they try to come back to you and cry. They smile, stretch out their hands, and make a tremendous effort to go to their parents. For example, while they are playing games, they also watch what their mothers are doing. If the mother is not with him or she is in another room, for example, he tries to hear her voice. This process constitutes the bonding process. If this period is overcome healthily, the child will not have problems with separation in the future.
Separation anxiety is normal from the age of 7 months until the age of 4, that is, it is normal to feel uneasy about being separated from the parents during this period. It is expected that it will begin to disappear gradually after the age of 4, and this is the healthy thing to do. If the child is over 4 years old and still feels anxious and uneasy when separated from his parents, we can make a clear statement that this child has a separation anxiety problem. These children worry that they will never see their parents again when they leave, or they worry that something will happen to their parents. They cannot sleep alone and even have nightmares.
Generally, it is not noticed by the family that the child has separation anxiety before starting school. The child may have a stomach ache in the morning while going to school, there is nothing until the morning, but the moment he leaves home, his stomach starts to hurt. Or when you go to school, the child insists on staying with you. He may feel even more anxious around children he does not know. The child who experiences these may not be able to pay attention to lessons, which negatively affects his success and causes him to be unable to communicate with his friends. In this case, it would be useful to get support from an expert.
What can I do as a parent to reduce the restlessness and anxiety my child experiences when leaving?
If you are going to give your baby to a caregiver between 7 and 24 months of age, Be careful not to change your caregiver during this period. Do not give your baby directly to the caregiver; the caregiver, you, and the baby spend time together. Gradually reduce the amount of time you and the baby spend with the caregiver on a regular basis. So the baby can get used to the babysitter. This ensures trust between the caregiver and the baby.
Some children understand that you will leave the house. If something happens suddenly, do not use the tactic of leaving the house without notice and say goodbye to the child. First, hug and calm the child, then tell him where you are going to go and what you will do and that you will be back. In this case, the child may continue to cry, do not worry, this is normal, leave the child calmly. Be sure to do this at every separation, so this ceremony should be done regularly. In this way, the relationship of trust between you and the child is strengthened and strengthened.
Parents may also feel anxious when separating from their child, which is a normal situation. But do not show this to the child while doing the separation ceremony, so as not to increase his anxiety.
You can ask him how he feels at the time of separation, so that he has a chance to express his negative feelings.
Be with your child on the first day of school. Say that you will be away for a short time and add that there are a lot of friends here, you can play games with them. When you leave school, you should ask how was your first day? So that the child can remember the positive moments and keep them in his mind longer.
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