I'm sensitive about this issue, my veins were pressed, the blood
splashed into my brain, it's like I'm on the ground, I don't give my right
, They don't treat me like a man. What do people really mean
with the phrase "If mercy rains in the sky
it will rain stones on my head"? A person's perception of himself, his view of the world, and
interpretation of what is happening consist of some patterns and some beliefs
. His interpretation of the future and the measures he takes for the future are affected by this. Thus, he is
positioning himself in life.
Why are some people intolerant
while some people are patient and tolerant in the face of certain situations. While some
people perceive certain behaviors as insults, some
why do they think that there is something wrong with this job and why
can they remain calm. Why do some people think that everything is my right
, while others think that I am worthless
I do not deserve anything. life events and
events you are exposed to in life all contribute to the formation of schemas.
How can some people be caring and supportive
while some people are cruel, how can some
be calm while others are aggressive, some people Why do some
cling to others and not be sure of themselves, while they make it a habit to use others
for their own purposes and interests? those who believe that bad things will happen to them at any moment
, those who believe that they will not be loved in life, will not be accepted
, those who feel worthless and insignificant, are in doubt
and are always on their toes with the fear that they will be harmed all the time
those who are never sure
of their own ideas and truths and ask everything to others, those who believe that they are always right
and think that they are or will be subjected to injustice by people all the time
, no matter what they do
those who expect to fail in the end,
relationships People who always feel like they will be abandoned and cling to
, those who constantly seek someone's approval, those who don't feel their feelings
and always choose not to show suppression, those who
think of themselves as superior to other people, are in arrogance
, Where do those who dislike everything and always act with high standards
from where did they get all these features and how
how do they use these basic beliefs in life. Do these basic
beliefs bring goodness to their lives, make life easier
or do they harm, disrupt their relationships with people, and cause problems
. When you look at your own identity, how
do you have schemas and why do you hold on to these schemas? Sometimes these schemas that you hold on to
can be the main problem of your life and they can be your sources of unhappiness. Of course, these didn't happen in a day, and it's not easy to know what the
schema he has. How
as a result of your experiences, what kind of parents you raised, or
as a product of being brought up in what kind of environment has taken its place in your self.
These are like information buttons
that you believe in in life but are wrong, and you press these buttons
when you encounter some situations. These begin in childhood and continue throughout life. If you have emotional problems, you perceive the facts by distorting
. The most obvious example of this is love situations..
Some people say, why do these things always happen to me
? Why do people like this say they find me? In fact, they don't say
why do I create these or why do I search
find such people because they are not aware of their schemas.
Some of the basic human needs are: basic trust, bonding with others
, autonomy, self-confidence, self-sacrifice is realistic
limits. These things, when disrupted, damaged
cause some damage in life.
So some people fear abandonment, some are hypersensitive to rejection
, some people don't
some people can't keep their boundaries, some people
always say what others say
instead of revealing their own preferences Some cannot express their feelings and they accumulate anger
.
There are erroneous thoughts about what will happen in the future. Other
hold some erroneous and
rigid views about what people are like, what
he is, what the world is like, and these beliefs are the facts of life
It doesn't fit with. An obstacle to revealing one's potential is an obstacle to choosing the right
place in life.
Mental needs that are not met in time, early period
traumas, problems in model people, initial attachment
problems, When there are intense problems in the living environment and
wrong upbringing, and all of the temperament characteristics
come together, such dysfunctional schemas emerge
and prevent people from developing flexibility.
Their children Don't leave too much space, do whatever you want or keep it under strict
control, do not give responsibility, do not set boundaries,
do not give confidence, do not praise, do not give unconditional love, do not allow
to make mistakes, be constantly accusatory, always
asking for more, constantly comparing with others, belittling
embarrassing are the mistakes that families often make.
Schemas are mostly triggered in relationships and sometimes they make the relationships difficult
. It has three kinds of effects. The first manifests itself as
surrendering to the schema, avoiding the schema, and resorting to the overcompensation of the schema
. An unsupported person who grows up in an environment that constantly criticizes and finds himself flawed
chooses a spouse who constantly criticizes him/herself. Others
avoid the schema,
avoid situations in which they experience negative emotions, try to reduce emotions, take medication, overeat,
excessively clean, become a workaholic, have blunted emotions, and have enthusiasm for life
Those who spend too much time on being very successful, chase after applause and praise Often stubborn
may have chosen this path as a counter-reaction to suppress their belief that they may not be flawed.
People are so ambitious that they chase success so much that who
hurts, who hurts. They don't care what they give, whose rights they violate
. They can be famous, successful
politicians, businessmen, they can come to important places, but
they can't be very happy in life, they can't enjoy it. They do not feel the ecstasy of life
internally. While trying to be perfect
they can always stumble.
The schemas are the enemies of your life and try to get to know them.
How did you experience these schemas in your childhood,
how does it resemble what you are experiencing now. When he was young, the injured
how did the child cope with the pain and difficulties, what was he doing
and what is he doing now. From time to time, connect with your childhood and compare it with now, try to understand
those times, don't judge. Question the schemas, admit that they hurt you
make your job harder, try to change your reactions
. Tell these schemas that I am not helpless, helpless, poor,
condemned to evil, I am not always right, always superior, and not always privileged
. Nor am I doomed to be unloved, to be abandoned, to be worthless, to fail. They are erroneously
ingrained in my mind, but I have the power to dismantle them, change them, and redesign them. I am
more than schemas, and I am stronger than schemas.
Take a look at the
problems you've encountered over and over in your life and research
which schemas have an effect on it. Realize how you are undermining your life with schematics
. Change your habits, try to react differently
and change your future. It's always possible.
Now look how familiar these efforts will sound
: constantly blaming others, extreme success,
trying to impress people more, gaining more approval the need,
to strive for more praise, to try to make people happier
, don't try to be perfect to be superior,
suppress your emotions, be alert
always believing that you are in danger, not feeling safe with the expectation that you will be harmed, overeating,
excessive alcohol, overwork, etc. We can count more. In fact, with these efforts
what are you avoiding, what are you trying to compensate
and what are you trying to fill in?
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