Focus on the underlying need, not the child's behavior.
If we approach this issue from a psychoanalysis perspective; When it comes to shyness, the developmental age of the child is of great importance. If your child is 2-3 years old and has problems with toilet training, this may manifest itself as hesitancy from those around him to keep the feces inside. A child who is afraid of passing his/her feces outside may, over time, keep his/her emotions inside just like
feces. Therefore, first of all, you should try to educate the child comfortably and without stressing
and check whether there is any problem during this period.
Or, if your child is only 3-4 years old and you think he is shy, you should
> It is possible that you are using sentences such as "No, you can't do it, your height is not enough, stop spilling it, I'll feed you" to him/her when he/she takes steps against the things you want him/her to do.
Generally, adults are shy because they are not enterprising. They confuse the situation of being.
When evaluating the child's personality characteristics, the developmental period and the ecosystem in which he/she lives are also
very important. Children behave very comfortably in an environment where they feel safe. In fact, kindergartens in Japan consist of classrooms without sound insulation just for this reason. Because quiet
environments are a factor that increases anxiety in children. Children feel safer and
more comfortable in loud environments.
If the child feels anxious and exhibits "timidity", which is a behavior arising from the need to feel safe,
examine what kind of bond we have established. We should
review it. If you are a very sensitive and caring parent towards your child, this will make him/her become attached to you
and will show an anxious and indecisive attachment type
in environments where you are not present. You should give him/her small responsibilities at home and make him/her feel that he/she can succeed on his/her own. /p>
This state of shyness suddenly appeared, what should I do?
Let's say you suddenly disappeared while shopping with your child in a market and your child
left you crying for minutes. Rak called. Even a small memory, even a detail that may seem too simple to be taken into consideration, can give way to situations of insecurity, uneasiness, and anxiety due to "attachment injury". A small breach of trust may have suddenly created a situation of shyness.
In such cases, you have to explain to your child as a person, no matter how old he/she is. Face him and communicate with him eye to eye and explain that you are aware of the feeling you are giving him and that this situation causes the same bad feelings in you. If necessary
What could he have done to relive the same moment so that you could have met in a shorter time? Where does the problem situation originate from? You can even make drama by turning it into entertainment and replace bad feelings with a sense of trust.
What Should I Do?
1-Give your child opportunities to express himself.
> 2-Create a dramatic environment where your child can express his opinion with small games when he does not want to talk.
3-Never own your child's problem.
4-When he shares his problem with you, follow the order below;
What What happened?
What did you think about this?
What did you feel?
What did you do?
What else could you have done? Let him analyze the events and take them under control.
5-Let him spend time with children older and younger than him.
6-Wait for the child to finish his words while he is speaking.
7-What would happen if we did not use our language? Have him write his story, ask him to tell pictures.
8-Create environments where he can freely express his ideas, thank him for having an idea. Make him feel that it does not matter whether his opinion is negative or positive and that it is important for him to share it.
And finally, never judge, always use a perceptive and empathetic I language.
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