The most important difference that separates marriage from a relationship; It is based not only on an emotional bond but also on a legal process. Having children together, acquiring various goods such as a house or a car, or having debts puts marriage on a legal basis.…For this reason, when disagreements occur, unfortunately, they may not end as nicely and civilized as they started.
In fact, in a relationship, it is mutual. Insufficient communication and personality disorders make separation and divorce painful. If a relationship does not end with the consent of both parties; An extremely painful process begins for the unwilling party... It causes the person to feel abandoned, inadequate, worthless and flawed. The feeling of separation and "abandonment" turns into a personality problem in his/her world.
"If he/she doesn't like and want me, no one will like or want me" is thought. After a while, the feeling of worthlessness gives way to anger, and one may experience temporary depression with pessimism and depression. "You lost me, but realize how precious someone you lost." He wants her to regret breaking up.
Actually, separation; It doesn't mean leaving someone. Nobody leaves anyone. Both the person who feels that he has been abandoned and the person who says that he has left have insufficient feelings of self-confidence. A relationship begins and is experienced with mutual free will and ends when mutual disagreements and mistakes cause loss of feelings.
Reasons for Breakup
The reason for the breakup and the way you get through this process determines what you will experience in your future relationships. It determines the relationships you will develop and what kind of problems you will have to deal with. The most common reasons for separation:
1. Cheating and being deceived: It means that both parties in the relationship have unresolved emotional problems. The party whose emotions decreased could not follow this process, could not see why their emotions decreased, and could not convey them to the other party. The other party either did not realize or did not question the decrease in their partner's interest and feelings in the relationship. both sides He ignored the problems for fear of losing them and preferred to escape instead of finding solutions. The party who could not afford to leave left the relationship by holding on to another relationship. The intense need to feel valued, cared for and loved; It drags you towards cheating.
A relationship that ends due to cheating; While it leaves one party with deep distrust and anger, it leaves the other with deep guilt and regret. This situation prevents both parties from dwelling on the past and establishing a healthy relationship in the future.
2. Loss of emotion: Long-term emotional, sexual and social neglect of one of the couples creates fatigue and boredom in the other. If the effort he makes to explain himself cannot be understood by his partner and the problem still persists in the same way, if after a while he realizes that this is a personality problem and that he will not change if he does not want it, he will lose faith in the relationship. As their expectations from the relationship disappear, they withdraw.
3. Family problems: Although we say that a relationship begins with the free will of the couple, families play an extremely active role in our society. A marriage that is not approved by the family is a sign that the relationship will have constant problems in the future.
Parents who do not allow their children to be individuals and are afraid of being alone and abandoned if they become individuals can turn their children's marriage process into a nightmare. They take part in the entire process as if they were getting married themselves, they do not give both parties the right to speak, they constantly criticize and are dissatisfied. When creating the pressure for separation, they so-called think about the happiness of their children, but they completely become victims of their own ambitions and expectations. Conclusion; In courtrooms, it is not the couples who get divorced, but the families themselves.
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