We may all occasionally suspect that someone else is not playing with open cards, may want to take advantage of us, or will harm us in some way. If you have developed a mistrust/abuse schema, this fear is more persistent and is likely to quickly activate your defenses. There may be a conscious or subconscious expectation that other people are a source of danger; They may harm, abuse, manipulate, humiliate, deceive or otherwise harm.
If you're wondering whether the distrust/abuse schema resonates with you, here are some questions to consider:
Do you find it difficult to take what someone says at face value?
Do you find it difficult to trust people?
Are you suspicious of people's intentions, especially if they are behaving in a nice way?
Do you find it difficult to let your guard down with people?
>Do you have the feeling that people are trying to take advantage of you?
Do you feel like you're always getting the short end of the stick?
Do you feel like people you've trusted in the past have turned their backs on you?
>Do you have an expectation that people close to you are likely to harm you?
If you generally answer no to most of these questions, you are unlikely to develop a mistrust/abuse schema. If you feel like the mistrust/abuse schema applies to you, start observing when it shows up in your daily life. Recognition is the key to changing patterns that prevent you from achieving your goals.
If you have the Insecurity Schema, your partner is likely to:
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Getting what you want He does everything for you, including lying and cheating. Sadistic and cruel, he enjoys seeing you or other people suffer
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When he drinks too much alcohol, he can lose control.
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He owns your weaknesses. He uses it according to his interests.
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He has a temper that scares you. (He is very irritable)
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Humiliate you in front of your friends and family. He is doing it.
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He is cheating on you (taking lovers behind your back).
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He is inconsistent, taking advantage of your generosity.
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He constantly criticizes you, belittles you, and makes you feel worthless. He doesn't respect what you need.
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He constantly checks your social media accounts. (Last seen time, Facebook Posts, Instagram likes, etc.)
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When you do not do what he wants, he physically attacks you
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He forces you to have sexual intercourse even when you do not want it.
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He will do anything to get what he wants, including lying and cheating.
Type of Therapy for People with Loss of Trust;
The main purpose of therapy is to help you accept that many people, if not everyone, are trustworthy. and to help you act accordingly.
Our schemas are formed as a result of our negative memories from our childhood and adolescence. Even if these negative experiences are in the past, their emotional effects follow us. The emotional traces of those experiences negatively affect our choices. To the question of whether we can reset our schemas, we can easily answer the following: There is no way to forget our negative memories, I think there is no need for this. But we can reset the negative emotional burden of those experiences on us. In other words, the event we experienced in the past stops there, but we can get rid of the heavy burden on us in our adult lives by reinterpreting that event and looking at those experiences from different windows.
When your schema is healed, you will be able to distinguish between trustworthy people and unreliable ones. You have the courage to open up and take risks; In this way, you can develop a closer and more reliable friendship. You realize that you are carrying your childhood experiences into your current life and you stay away from it.
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