Not only are rules set for children, but you also have certain limits, things you care about and things you never do. However, sometimes, under the false umbrella of flexibility, we can add exceptions to the draws, taking courage from the logical explanations you make to yourself. What follows, once this is used, is a never-ending series of exceptions and exceptions that remain in the middle, leaving no trace of the original determination. As a result, the decisions taken and the rules established are experienced with tried and tested failures. We often see this in adults when they do weight loss studies and diet programs. To lose weight, they join gyms with annual memberships, start consulting dieticians, discover low-calorie recipes, and moreover, take part in a study about themselves. But the majority of the results are abandoned salons, dietitians, cookbooks and motivation who cannot complete their annual memberships. Afterwards, you may find yourself saying, "I am like this, it doesn't work, no matter what I do, it doesn't work." The failure here is not the result of sports centers or dietitians and your other efforts. With a certain motivation and valid reasons, you try to create a solution that you can add to your routine, everything is great until this point. But the unbreakable point has exactly to do with the title of this article; missing motivation in sustainability. When you set the rules, you are motivated to change yourself, your goals, or your children, but the same motivation you created when you started the rules is not in sustainability. So much so that when you are trying to lose weight in sports centers, you set a goal for yourself that you will lose this much weight at the end of this job, but this is your long-term goal. Losing tiny kilos every 2-3 weeks is not your success. It is ignored and makes you think that there is a long way to go.
The key point is that for sustainability, it is necessary to be process-oriented, not result-oriented. This understanding is like a cultural heritage for us. We find the results of events valuable in both your children and yourself, but we do not honor what we do for the sake of labor, effort and desire, small successes and tiny progress. child as it is Even the simplest rules you set in your life begin to not work. The simplest thing is that while the agreements you make for him to tidy his room work at first, behaviors fade away without providing continuity. When children who study do not get their target score in the exam, all their grades start to decrease. Many examples of this situation are very possible because we cannot be aware of the value of the process while it is working, neither for ourselves nor for our children. Along with being process-oriented rather than result-oriented, the content and acceptance of the rules are also very important. Unattainable goals, rules that are not suitable for the other party, and most importantly, rules that seem unnecessary are doomed to not be implemented by your children. In fact, it is very logical for children not to obey the rules because they are not explained why. They only hear commands such as tidy up your room and study. So what for? There is no mutual explanation that they should do these things. These are the reasons why rules seem ridiculous and are broken. If you want to give your children habits and responsibilities, you must first explain why, talk about why you want this and why they should do it. Afterwards, in order to ensure the continuity of the behavior, it is necessary to reward and celebrate the process, not the result. Valuing your actions, not the results of your actions, for both your children and yourself, will increase your success in every sense.
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