I was planning to write this article in October. Because October 2 is commemorated as the Day of No Violence. But unfortunately, the incredible violent events that have occurred recently have caused me to bring this article forward. Of course, being conscious and knowing why and in what situations we use violence will not be enough on its own to prevent violent incidents. However, if we can raise even a little awareness and cause some change in our own lives, this positive effect will occur in the form of ever-growing rings like water waves.
Although it has been determined that the most effective factor causing domestic violence is economic difficulties, there is a psychological dynamic. The truth is undeniable. Two types of emotional dynamics have been identified that cause violence. The first of these is the destructive thought system or our negative inner voice, which I mentioned in my previous articles. So, to put it more simply, it is the inner voice that speaks inside the person constantly saying "If you can't control your partner, you are not a man", "Look, he is embarrassing you in front of everyone", "He is trying to control you, never let him make you look weak". Another thought dynamic is the “all or nothing” mindset. People's unrealistic beliefs cause them to assume incredible roles towards their spouses. People think that they are nothing without their spouses or that they are incomplete without them. This is an unhealthy thought. Therefore, the person is attached to his partner with a pathological bond and does not want to lose him at any cost.
Even in the most developed countries of the world, the idea that men are stronger and more dominant than women is still entrenched. This patriarchal idea does not allow men to appear weak and weak under any circumstances. If a man becomes weak in the eyes of both others and the lady in his life, he acts violently in order to prove to the other party that he is strong with this shame. When a man loses his power, he is tested by losing all the features that make him a man. This causes high levels of anger and rage in the man. When these pathological emotions combine with dangerous factors such as past traumas and wrong modeling (growing up in an environment where the person has experienced or witnessed violence), unimaginable violence can occur. ideas and scenarios are emerging.
What Should Be Done?
First of all, the gaps in the person's self-confidence must be filled and wrong thought systems must be corrected. A person should get rid of the idea that he is nothing without his spouse or that he has every right over his spouse. The party who is the victim of violence must get out of the victim psychology and get rid of the idea that he deserves to be subjected to violence or that the man is stronger than the woman and has the right to apply all kinds of violence. When people are exposed to verbal or physical violence, they should definitely get support from an expert or security units. Any threat made by a person with a tendency to violence should be taken seriously. Ignoring and mitigating the situation by saying "he wouldn't do it anyway" is no different from just standing in front of an oncoming truck saying "it will stop anyway".
How to Protect a Victim of Violence?
Law No. 6284 on the Protection of the Family and Prevention of Violence against Women aims to immediately prevent violence and provide the necessary support. In accordance with this law, anyone who is exposed to violence or is at risk of being subjected to violence can apply to the relevant authorities and institutions. It is not mandatory for people who have been subjected to violence or are in danger of violence to apply personally to these institutions and authorities. People who have learned or witnessed violence can also apply.
ALO 183 and Other EMERGENCY Phone Lines
ALO 183, which operates under the Ministry of Family and Social Policies, is the hotline that is used by those who are subjected to violence. It provides psychological, legal and economic consultancy to people who are in danger of suffering or in need of support and provides information about service organizations they can benefit from. ALO 183 is free of charge and can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from anywhere in Turkey.
ALO 155 Police Emergency, ALO 156 Gendarmerie Emergency, 112 EMERGENCY, 0212 656 96 96/ 0549 656 96 96 Domestic Violence Emergency Helpline
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