Acting as if marriage is the end... Crowning or glorifying the relationship with marriage... There are so many such concepts in our lives, aren't there?
However, do feelings such as love and affection need such a crowning? Do you think we unknowingly cause our emotions to end? The answer to this question may be yes, perhaps no.
Of course, we are not going to oppose marriage, but as a society, the meanings we attach to marriage are many; In fact, it is quite an exaggeration for some of us, because according to many of us, the proof of love should only be through marriage; Emotions should reach a higher level only through marriage...
As in relationships, the greater the emotional investment made in a partner, a friend, or anyone we love, the more difficult it is to break up and end that relationship. If we actually consider marriage as an emotional investment, the more investment we make; It would be just as difficult to end a marriage that was that bad.
''I brushed my hair off'', ''I gave my years'',''We wouldn't have gotten married if we didn't love'',''For making me a marriage proposal We have many thoughts about marriage, such as "I think you love me very much." Well, if we look at it from the opposite side, is the bond of love greater or less in a couple who are not married? Are they less happy because they don't or can't think about marriage? Do you think people could be happier if what we call love continued with a long uncertainty rather than an end?
In some societies (especially Turkish societies), the concept of marriage is a concept that is taught or even imposed on us when we are young children. Then, over time, with family pressure, relative pressure, then family pressure, neighborhood pressure, we become an individual who is tried to marry with the messages sent to the universe. While couples experience their relationships with this suffocating pressure and unknowingly come to this situation that they are not ready for; On the one hand, they try to be happy, and on the other hand, they try to make others happy. Most couples wear each other out in this pace of preparation.
Marriage preparations can sometimes be a situation that shakes marriages
After all, we will crown it; ourselves a We have to put it aside and please everyone, right? The most common mistake couples make (when we listen to couples who are planning to break up nowadays) is that they neglect each other during the marriage process and try to make third parties happy... The emotions caused by the situations at that time can create problems in their marriage due to their inability to repair them.
Couples should not live marriage as if it were a rule or a taboo!
No matter how official the marriage institution is, it has a very strong emotional structure. During the preparation process, couples plan the best possible; When things don't go well, they can wear each other out. When we say, "This is our first time getting married, so be it," we can unknowingly damage our bond with each other. However, when we do not see this as an obligation or a chain of rules; During the preparation process, couples can experience every moment more enjoyable and more focused on each other. We can see that couples experience romance more healthily in a process where there are no "shoulds" and only their own wishes come to the fore. In the following years, instead of expressing their resentment and anger towards each other, couples show a smile and excitement on their faces as they remember those days. Afterwards, relationships that are less worn out or worn out become more possible.
Some of the clients talk about the disappointments and misunderstandings they experienced during the marriage process in the sessions. These unfinished emotions can be bad harbingers of the present moment, with new triggers from time to time. Breakups begin with these unfinished business. As couples enter into a new structure before marriage, they think that a magic wand will enter their lives. When we are aware that marriage is a situation that requires determination and effort, all we have to do is; In this journey of connection, all past burdens should be purified.
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