Parenting and Family
When it comes to parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. One way to be a good parent is to be creative and flexible. But some things are universal.
All children want to be understood emotionally, to receive compassion and encouragement. These are the main building blocks in solving the problems you are facing.
Bonding with Your Baby
Tips for Safe Attachment
Attachment is a deep, long-term relationship that develops between you and your baby in the first few years. Attachment is a unique relationship that shapes your baby's development. It increases your motivation to meet your baby's needs; It allows you to wake up in the middle of the night to feed your baby, realize you need to change his/her diaper, and understand what your baby's different cries mean.
The bonding process naturally occurs as you care for your baby, but it doesn't always happen. It is not an easy or stress-free process. It's normal to feel uncertain, scared, and disconnected during this time. However, there are things you can do to create a secure attachment.
What is Attachment?
Attachment is a unique relationship formed between you and your baby as the primary caregiver. This instinctive bonding relationship brings you two together to meet the needs of the helpless and defenseless baby. In the 1990s, a stream of knowledge revealed that this unique relationship, attachment, is a key factor in the social, emotional, intellectual and physical development of the baby. The quality of this attachment relationship may vary. A secure attachment gives your baby a suitable foundation for life: a willingness to learn, sound insight, trust and common sense, among them. An insecure attachment that does not include trust and understanding of the baby's needs causes confusion about itself and problems in learning and trusting others in the future.
Facts and myths about attachment
Myth: “Secure attachment is the same thing as love”
Reality: Attachment occurs instinctively between the baby and its mother, but unfortunately, Loving your baby does not guarantee secure attachment. Secure attachment depends on your ability to manage stress, respond to your baby's needs and calm your baby.
Myth: “I have difficulty understanding the signals my baby gives and I often cannot understand what he wants. That's why my baby will not be able to achieve secure attachment.
Fact: You do not need to meet 100% of your baby's needs in order to establish secure attachment. As you get to know your baby and your parenting experience increases, you will feel more confident in understanding your baby's signs.
Myth: "Meeting babies' every need will cause them to become spoiled."
Fact: On the contrary, the more you can meet a baby's needs. , the less spoiled they will be when they grow up. Attachment builds trust, and children who develop secure attachments are more independent than others, not less.
Myth: “Secure attachment is impossible because I am a working mother and cannot meet my baby's needs 24 hours a day.”
Reality : You don't need to be with your baby 24 hours a day to create secure attachment. The important thing is to increase the quality of the time you spend with your baby as much as you can. In addition, you need to find a caregiver who can meet your baby's needs.
Attachment Occurs Before Birth
During the last 3 months before birth, your baby is with you. and begins to collect information about the environment. You can notice your baby's movements, and your baby can hear your voice and sense your stress. Starting from this time, you should take care to feel comfortable to strengthen the attachment.
Tips for Secure Attachment
Secure attachment does not occur overnight. This is an ongoing union between baby and mother. As time goes by, it will become easier for you to understand cries, interpret signals, and meet your baby's needs. Try to be patient while getting to know each other.
Watch your baby's facial expressions and body movements. For example, your baby may move his body in response to your voice, to indicate that he is cold, or because he wants to be held.
Try to recognize the sounds your baby makes. For example, the sound that means "I'm hungry" may be a very short, low-pitched cry.
Try to find touches that your baby likes. Because with every touch, your baby learns something new. The softer your touch, the more comfortable your baby will perceive the world as a place.
Try to find the kind of movements, sounds and environment your baby likes. Some babies relax with movements like rocking or walking back and forth, while others respond to music or a change of environment.
Relationship Help
Relationships are investments. The more you give, the more you get back. Even if your relationship is on the rocks, there are things you can do to gain trust and reconnect.
Healthy relationships require responsibility and willingness to change in life. The rewards in the end outweigh the efforts and make life worth living.
Suggestions for healthy and exciting love relationships
A strong, healthy relationship is the most important thing in life. It can be one of the good supports. Good relationships can improve your life in every way; It strengthens your health, your mind, and your connections with others. However, if your relationship is not going well, it can be one of the biggest causes of stress. Relationships are investments. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. Love and relationships require effort, responsibility and willingness. You can learn new ways to have a strong relationship or make an effort to rebuild your shaky one.
How to strengthen your relationships and ensure your love lasts
Everyone's relationship is unique. and people come together for many reasons. But good relationships have things in common. Knowing the ground rules helps keep your relationship meaningful, satisfying, and exciting in both happy and sad times.
What constitutes a healthy love relationship?
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Preserving your love for each other: Some relationships are based on peaceful coexistence, but this It can happen without trusting yourself and without making a concerted effort. It may seem stable on the surface, but lack of interest and communication increases distance. When you try to talk about something important, the relationship may be gone.
Arguing: While some people prefer to talk about things quietly, others may raise their voices and disagree with each other. The key to a strong relationship is not to be afraid of argument. You should be able to express the things that bother you without fear and solve the problem without taking it lightly.
Keep relationships and interests with others alive: No person can meet all our needs. Expecting too much from someone can put an undue burden on that relationship. Having outside friends not only strengthens your social network but also adds new perspectives.
Communication: Honest and direct communication is key to many relationships. If both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, their bond is strong. Non-verbal gestures such as eye contact, leaning forward or back, or touching your arm are important for communication.
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