The issue of boundaries appears to be the most difficult situation for parents in terms of how to raise their children and how to set limits for them. The issue of boundaries actually starts with birth and continues until the end of life. To start with; It begins with the baby's limited environment in the womb and the baby being able to move itself to a certain degree there. Even there there is a limit. The baby cannot extend its hand or arm as far as it wishes, it is subject to certain limits. And he has to adapt to this.
The boundary problem manifests itself most in children between the ages of 1.5 and 2. But of course, you can apply limits to older children as well. Every age has its own limits. It is necessary to give responsibility to each child according to his age. It is necessary to give small responsibilities to young children and big responsibilities to older children. The issue of boundaries appears in every aspect of our lives. The main issues such as the frequency of technological device use in children, sleep patterns, not studying and not eating are the most determining ones. To set limits, the parent must first: Parents must cooperate and progress clearly, clearly, consistently and steadily. What is important here is that the options you have given as a parent are also approved by you.
To give an example, one of the most common situations; Let's take a child who uses technological devices (TV - Tablet - Phone - PC etc.). If this time is too much for you as a parent, a time arrangement is made by mutual decision with the child. He/she is informed in advance of what will be done if he/she has difficulty in adapting. When my son/daughter exceeds your 2-hour technological device usage time today, you will choose to lose your right to use technological devices tomorrow. If you do not lose your right to use technological devices today, you choose not to lose your right to use technological devices tomorrow. You can ask your child which one would you choose.
It takes some patience and effort to establish boundaries for families. Your child may react at first, and this is very natural. Because he was faced with a situation he was not used to. Bur It is very important that you, as an island parent, be stable and determined. Once the child sees that this situation is consistent, he will now decide on his own options. Once you have this system in place, the process will be more enjoyable and easier.
Boundaries have a supportive, protective and life-preparing function for the child. In addition, it also increases harmony with society. In addition, the child will be responsible for his actions across borders and will have a mission/responsibility for himself. Children; In your later years, you will see how important boundaries are in their business lives, responsibilities, career choices, close romantic relationships, friend choices and similar situations. Children who grow up without limits expect to get whatever they want and to put themselves first. In the future, these boundary problems put them in difficult situations in their families, friendships and business lives.
Remember, our children do not have a user manual. Every child has his or her own unique characteristics and temperament. As parents, you are the one who will best raise your children in this situation.
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