Sometimes, when a person starts to live his own life story, he experiences difficulties. He is in contact with his home, his wife, his child, his mother, his friends, someone he communicates with... He gets worried, depressed... Then a friend or friend appears in front of him. He shares his troubles and troubles with him... At that moment, he thinks, "I'm glad I have friends." As Mevlana said, his friend opened a window in his smoky house. Maybe he will relax... He will experience the comfort of being heard and accepted. Years later, he receives a phone message from another friend. With this message, sadness fills him and he begins to question the concept of friendship again. If you tell your secret to your friend, he will tell it to his friend... The message is as follows; "-Brother, how are you? I have been praying for your family's happiness for years. How is the marriage going?" When he reads the message, his head throbs and he asks himself what does this mean? However, he never shared his troubles with this friend. Where did this come from now? That's why I set boundaries in my relationships, he says. I'm tired of not knowing where and what people will talk about... Then I shouldn't meet anyone. I have to set very strict boundaries... But luckily, there was someone who had been praying for me for years. However, my troubles have long since passed. Then he starts to ask himself, am I doing this too? Do I tell the secrets I am told, even as an example? It's possible. From this point on, he focuses on himself. This behavior of your friend was a very nice thing. How happy he would have been any other time. He used to tell me that I had a rare friend who prayed for me. This wasn't where he got stuck anyway. He was obsessed with family happiness. When he returned to himself again and again, he had a very happy marriage. Didn't he go through difficult times, but they didn't last for many years. Then he drifted off again. He turned to the friend he was sharing with. He remembered that he had experienced such anger towards her before. As a result of these resentments, he remembered the idea that there should be a distance in his relationship and that this distance should have limits. He had already put this into practice. He and I are different, these differences wear me out. Should I have given a warning at the end of every post I shared with him to keep this for you? But it was very tiring. Suddenly in his head Lightning flashed. This is a behavior about me, not an attitude. This is about him. Because I attach importance to being accepted, appreciated, trusted and reliable in my relationships. I try to offer this to everyone I interact with. If the other person cannot offer these to me, I can't blame him. Maybe he cares about other things in those relationships. Still, I'm glad I managed to keep some distance from him. Thus, I saved myself from upset. I didn't break off my relationship by keeping distance, I just defined my boundaries clearly. His eyes widened with a smile and he continued his work.
Human beings are beings with a social aspect. We need to talk and make contact. But in such situations that upset us, reconsidering the relationship can relieve us. Because we do not have the ability to control the behavior of the other person. Maybe it would be good to press the pause button in the relationship for a while to relax and reconsider. It may be more comforting for a person to continue by keeping a distance rather than setting sharp boundaries and breaking relationships. It would be good to be clear in the relationship and clearly express what we want. There are differences in every relationship, but we also have common areas. Keeping distance means deciding to invest in our common points instead of dealing with differences and trying to change them. If, despite all efforts, disturbing situations still persist, how would it be possible to let them go?
Sometimes, you need to move away in order to get closer…
Sometimes, you need to remember in order to be remembered…
Sometimes, you need to cry in order to open up…
Sometimes, it is necessary to commemorate in order to be remembered…
Sometimes, it is necessary to remain silent in order to hear…Şems-i Tabrizi
Read: 0