Your child may have witnessed, lived or watched a traumatic experience. We often cannot prevent a traumatic event, but if we know what we can do afterwards, we can reduce its permanent impact. Many things that we cannot prevent in our lives affect children as much as they affect adults. Children who watch what happens next to adults develop thoughts and beliefs such as "The world is a dangerous place" or "I can't trust anyone" in such situations. In short, children's basic schemas about the world are disrupted. In this article, you will find the most basic information that parents need to know.
Do not postpone talking about the event…
No child benefits by not talking about an event or by eliminating it from his/her thoughts. cannot provide. If he senses that the parent is very upset or angry about the incident and is avoiding talking about it, he will not bring it up. The hardest part is having to talk about the painful event. Don't force your child to talk, but show your desire to talk. Depending on the situation, you may need to explain, console, or calm down. Do whatever is appropriate depending on the situation. Do not think that it will get worse if he talks.
Give information about the incident according to the age development period.
Does he have any information about this incident? What does he know? How true is what they know? Always speak the truth. The incident you experienced may damage your and your children's sense of security. Lying strengthens this injury. Keep them informed of what's going on, whether it's a funeral, an ambulance, or whatever. Explain why what happened. As devastating as trauma is for a child, being under the protection of a confused adult who doesn't know what to do. Have a sane adult around who knows what he is doing take responsibility for the child. If you feel bad, say what you feel and emphasize that it is normal. Be sure to have information to give to your child in situations of trauma or crisis. Never be afraid to talk about difficult topics with your child and bring it up before him or her. The most important part is; How will this information be given? First of all, when giving information, consider your child's developmental age/period. It is necessary to provide information accordingly. For example; You should avoid abstract concepts when explaining to your preschool or primary school child. For example, a child who hears an explosion should first be calmed down, reassured, and then given a short explanation. Like, "There was an explosion, a lot of noise was made from the explosion, people were harmed." Your child may ask more questions and sometimes ask about details you don't know. At this stage, you can answer your child, “I don't know either.” Whatever the first condition is, you need to give your child a safe message, hug him and make him feel that you are with him and protecting him. Children immediately notice their parents' emotions. When talking to your child, it is extremely important that you explain or talk about the subject in a calm tone of voice, without getting excited. Remember, your emotions reflect directly on your child. If you do not feel well after a crisis or trauma situation, you should definitely seek out a specialist who deals with trauma.
Children reflect their emotions and behavior…
Adults experience post-crisis or trauma. While they can express themselves verbally, children live in their behavior. The behaviors of children exposed to trauma/crisis are seen as emotions such as hyperactivity, introversion, carelessness, fear, anxiety and sadness. Your child expresses the trauma he experienced or the crisis he witnessed in his games or drawings. Ask your child about his/her feelings, but never react like "what is there to be afraid of?" Don't make your child's trauma permanent. Say “I understand your fear” and hug them. During this period, your child may not leave your side, this is quite normal. Because he, too, is learning to cope with what he experiences or hears.
Realize your child's needs…
The type and form of the traumatic event affects children differently. The approach to a child who has experienced the loss of a relative is different from the approach to a child who has experienced sexual abuse or a child who has experienced a traffic accident. Recognize your child's needs at that moment. As we get older, hugging and physical contact are very important. You will either be saying that the danger is over and you are safe now, or you will be saying that there is a loss but You will say that life goes on. Use the words of consolation most appropriate to the situation. Do whatever the child wants, he can say "hug me" or stay with me. Perceive the need and fulfill it. Create opportunities for them to play and spend time with their friends.
Life goes on…
No matter what happens, the rules of life continue. In order to give the message that "everything is as before" to your child, they need to continue their daily routine. This will ensure that your children are safe.
Observe your child carefully.
Children have some symptoms in the acute period after the traumatic event. Repetition (For example, making the same pictures), Avoidance (Day dreaming, preferring loneliness, withdrawing), Physiological reactivity (For example, eating, drinking It is normal to experience symptoms such as sleep problems, hyperactivity) in the acute phase. Be sensitive to these, do not criticize them, do not try to correct them immediately. If you see that your daily life is difficult, do not hesitate to get support from someone who specializes in psychological trauma.
Protect your child
Your child may have been sexually, physically or psychologically abused. Take care of its protection. Do not label your child as a criminal, incompetent, or coward. Never forget that he is a child and needs to be protected. In order to protect your child, you should pay attention to the news watched within the family and it is best to get the appropriate information from you. Remember, being in a traumatic event or watching it on television may cause the same reaction in most children.
Have a secure bond with your child.
No matter what happens to us, we must have a protective umbrella afterwards. Sometimes a strong social environment, sometimes giving hope for the future, sometimes giving confidence is protective. Unlike us adults, children appear to have low levels of fear and indifference to traumatic events and tend to regress to their previous behaviors (such as wanting to sleep next to their mother, bedwetting, thumb sucking). These are his coping mechanisms. In such situations, a warm, loving and trusting parent is a protective umbrella for the child. protective sunshade Speaking of reassuring your child, one of the important things you should have is a secure bond/attachment between mother and child. When your communication with each other is strong in your family, when you have a family that expresses its feelings to each other, your child's ability to cope with trauma will increase as much. We cannot prevent sad events, but it is up to us to help our child cope with them.
Read: 0
