Self-Sacrifice Chart

Some of the following explanations are very familiar to you if you have a Self-Sacrifice scheme:

• It is selfish to put your own needs ahead of others.

• “But if I don't help, she can't get out of this…”

• I always give but get nothing in return.

• If someone needs me, I quit all my work and run to help.

• I don't let others deal with a problem alone, I help immediately.

• It is difficult for me to explain my own feelings and wishes because I focus more on the feelings and wishes of others.

• I care about others more than myself.

• I feel very guilty when I say “no” when someone asks me for something.

• Sometimes I get tired of doing things for other people all the time.

• It's unbearable for me to see other people in trouble.

• I feel that I don't get as much as I give to people.

• People They come to me just to ask for something.

• I've heard the saying “It's so good to talk to you” many times.

• People I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself anymore.

• I'm so tired of thinking of others more than myself that I don't care about anyone anymore.

• So much of giving to others I'm tired of saying "no" to anyone who wants something from me now.

If you have the Self Sacrifice scheme, you may have childhood experiences similar to the following:

• My mom/dad needed help. For example, he had mental problems, was mentally unstable, had a physical disability.

• My parents died when I was very young. I had to take care of my younger siblings.

• My mom/dad drank a lot, I would bring her home or pick her up from where she leaked and take her to bed.

• Mom/dad; He didn't take care of my brothers because of his disability, mental/psychic state, and being drunk. I used to take care of my siblings (I would take them to school, prepare their meals, etc.)

• My mom/dad read my brother He used to give me parental duties such as taking him to sleep, taking care of him, taking care of him.

• My parents would tell me about the difficulties they had, I would be very upset/angry/feeling helpless about their difficulties.

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• My mother/father used to tell me about the difficulties he had, I would listen to him and give him advice.

• My mother/father told me, "What a wonderful mind They would say, “What would I do without you”, “You are such a good son, you take care of us”, they would be happy.

• I generally felt valued when I was just looking after my family.

How does the Self Sacrifice scheme affect your life?

• You will be frustrated because others don't give you as much as you give to them. For example, they don't help you as much as you do them, they don't quit their job and run to you.

• You become a constant giver and your value seems unknown.

• You get so tired of not being able to say “no”.

• Because of all this, a suppressed anger grows inside you.

• Your own You feel a sense of emptiness because you don't know your needs and feelings (because you have ignored them for a long time).

• You feel used in your relationships because you are always the giver.

• You cannot feel intimacy in your relationships because your needs and feelings are not taken seriously.

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