Stop for a moment and think about this sentence...
Everyone we encounter in life is a mirror that reflects ourselves back to us. What we see in them is actually our reflection. The characteristics we see, like and dislike in the person in front of us are our reflections. , our features. Everything is within us... We can only see in others what we see in ourselves.
What emotions arise in you as you read these lines? Does what you hear feel good or uncomfortable?
I first read the following quote in a magazine a few years ago:
How you perceive me is a reflection of you, and my reaction to you is an awareness of me.
As Goethe said, "A person sees what he carries in his heart when he looks at the world."
We are all mirrors of each other. We humans tend to easily blame and judge others for our misfortunes or things that happen to us. We think that external factors contribute to most of the suffering we experience. It is always easier to look outside for the source of our problems than to look inside. We don't want to see our own mistakes and mistakes, because if we see them, we need to change. Change requires giving or stretching a little from our usual state, and this is scary.
Carl Jung says that everything that disturbs us in others contains the opportunity to understand ourselves better. The mirror of Dharma is also a Buddhist teaching that encourages us to look within to discover the root causes of our suffering. According to this teaching, the things we are attached to, our anger, and our excessive self-importance are the main reasons for the problems and pain we experience outside.
The idea that other people are our mirrors may seem contradictory and make us feel uncomfortable at first. While taking responsibility for ourselves requires making the effort and taking action to change, it is almost always easier to blame others and life for our problems. But the truth is that; If we continue to project these accusations outward, we will only prolong our pain.
When we are triggered by a person, that person is just mirroring a past experience that belongs to us. When we notice traits that we don't like in another person, these are often traits that we also dislike or reject in ourselves. When someone does or says something to us that triggers these characteristics, our immediate reaction is often to react against or defend ourselves.
These triggers are often unresolved problems from the past, repressed memories or our awareness. There may be traumas that we have buried very deeply. Whenever a situation arises that challenges us and we are triggered, something is actually surfacing that is waiting to be noticed and healed. However, we can never heal these old wounds and illnesses by blaming life and projecting it externally.
Rejection would be a very suitable example here. This is a common trigger for many people because we can all remember a time when we were rejected by another and the emotions that accompanied it. Whenever someone does something to us that triggers feelings of rejection, it takes a huge hit to our sense of worth and self-confidence. Our first reaction is usually to protect and defend ourselves. Because rejection brings out feelings of shame and loneliness in us. Rejection will also trigger parts of ourselves that we reject. The parts of us that we don't like and suppress. That's why it's so painful. However, it is always possible to see and heal these parts of ourselves by turning inward. Our wounds can only heal when we touch them with compassion.
If we learn to apply the understanding that people are our mirrors, we can begin to improve ourselves. Especially on difficult days, we can see that in addition to the difficult emotions we experience, there are also important lessons we can learn from others. This is an excellent opportunity to get to know ourselves better, pay attention to and heal our old wounds. ir. In my next article, I will offer some practical suggestions for noticing the reflection of ourselves in others.
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