A narcissist is someone who is convinced that he is superior in every aspect of himself and in almost everything he does. The narcissist person has a feature that cannot tolerate a kind of deficiency. And he doesn't appreciate others being superior. He believed that he was special. This feature results in devaluing the people around them. People with this trait devalue the other person because this is to gain the upper hand and increase their own value. Otherwise, he will remember the feeling of shame that he could not cope with and suppressed in his childhood. Shame is one of the emotions that people find most difficult to tolerate. The child who experiences shame experiences this not as a simple flaw or mistake, but as an emotion that shakes the self. In other words, narcissism actually emerges to cover up a very strong sense of shame that you experience in the child.
The reason you feel shame in childhood is the shame he experiences in the eyes of the person who raised him, that is, the person who cares for him. When a child is about one or two years old and wants to share his excitement with his mother with great joy, an unexpected word of no or an ambiguous gesture makes him feel like he has been rejected by his mother. Because of these effects, when the child cannot always be right or good in childhood, in order to get away from this feeling, he takes refuge in the fantasy world where he is very strong, special, important and valuable. The child, who escapes from this feeling of rejection and takes refuge in the world of dreams, is reflected in adulthood as a narcissistic person. That's why they seem confident, but they can easily get angry and counter-accuse even a person or a small incident that they consider more valuable than themselves. Essentially, what he experiences is a feeling of great rejection and shame.
Basic features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to the DSM V Diagnostic Criteria:
He becomes grandiose (exaggerates his achievements and abilities, disproportionate to his achievements). He/she expects to be seen in some superior way).
He/she is constantly preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty or sublime love.
He is “special” and unique and can only be recognized by other special or superior persons (or institutions). Arca) believes that he can be understood and that he should only establish a relationship with them.
He wants to be liked very much.
He feels that he deserves (especially to be favored). Having meaningless expectations that he will receive treatment or whatever he wants will be done).
Uses others for his own benefit (uses others to achieve his own goals).
He cannot empathize and does not want to understand the feelings and needs of others.
He is often jealous of others or believes that others are jealous of him.
He treats others disrespectfully and exhibits arrogant behavior or attitudes.
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