“I am constantly stressed, excited, anxious and afraid. Believe me, I can't help it. Am I the only one experiencing this? It is impossible not to be anxious in this difficult life. Aside from the difficulties of life, it is quite difficult to raise children and live without thinking about what will happen in the future. I think the worst of everything. There are so many things going on that I can't get out of my mind what if it happens to me. I'm so nervous. I can't concentrate on anything. Everyone tells me not to think, just let it go, whatever happens will happen, nothing will happen, but I can't do it without thinking? IM so unhappy. I'm so nervous. Everyone says I'm not normal, that I'm very anxious. “I can't stop myself from thinking about it.” Do these expressions sound familiar to you? Maybe as you read, you can see yourself in it, or maybe you can witness what you have heard somewhere. Why do bad thoughts always come to my mind? Who knows, you may have asked yourself the question many times. So why do we think this way? Before answering this question, it would be more appropriate to talk about anxiety and what anxiety is. Anxiety is an emotion described as uneasiness. However, anxiety is a process that includes thoughts. For example, it is always talking about the things that are included in the thoughts in order to explain the reasons for the question that the person constantly asks himself, "What will happen if this happens, let's say that?" In other words, let's imagine that a person has a feeling of palpitation and ask him/her, "What does palpitation mean to you?" What's the worst thing that could happen? When we ask. He/she begins to respond with thoughts such as "I may have a heart attack, I may die, I may faint, I may harm my child," and thus he becomes anxious, in a way, when he is anxious, he enters into the illusion that the worst thing that can happen will not happen to him. It is seen that people with anxiety disorders confuse the feeling of uncertainty with uncertainty, the feeling of dying with dying, and the feeling of helplessness with helplessness. In a way, he confuses feeling with reality. In a way, people have the perception that if I worry, I can ward off any disasters that may happen to me. This is no longer an anxiety, but rather a perception disorder as if they are trying to avoid events/situations that may happen to them. happens from. Let's think of two people traveling in the same car. One of them wonders throughout the journey: "I wonder if we will have an accident, what if someone hits us, what if the tire of the car bursts, the brakes of the car fail and we cannot stop and we are dragged down the cliff, will the car catch fire on the road?" I assume that the other person is worried along the way, while the other continues on his way without even thinking about such things. Which one of them do you think dies in a car accident? Worried or not worried? Frankly, this situation does not matter to anyone. If they are going to die, both of them may die, the one who is worried may also die, the one who is not worried may die, or neither of them may die. It is well known that worrying is beyond one's control. But worrying does not prevent a disaster that may happen to a person. The person constantly tries to express his thoughts in order to stay away from anxiety. If I express my thoughts, I will get rid of the uneasiness I will experience. At the same time, he believes that he can get rid of the unrest created in him by the catastrophic thoughts his mind says. In fact, he does not realize that this is the end of him. Because from this moment on, the person starts to worry from being worried to being afraid of the uncertainty he fears the most, and in a way, he starts to worry again in order to control his fears. What people with anxiety disorder fear most is that they live in uncertainty and cannot bear the pain caused by this uncertainty. It is also seen that they are constantly trying to ask, question and research in order to get rid of this natural pain and eliminate uncertainty. It should be known that we have been acquainted with anxiety many years ago. In a way, anxiety enables us to live. It protects us in times of danger, removes us from risky situations, increases our success and provides more. Think about the beautiful moments that you have lost so far because of anxiety and that you could have lived before your eyes but couldn't. Weren't these precious? How many days, months, years have you spent thinking about these thoughts? What is known is that no matter what you do, anxiety will remain within you. Because anxiety is not a disease, it is an alarm triggered by our mind that protects us against dangers. So how do I get rid of intense anxiety? B. I want you to know that it is not possible to get rid of anxiety, but it is possible to get rid of being overly anxious. This is achieved by making room for your anxiety, that is, by accepting what you can do and what you cannot do here and now. It may be very easy to say and read, but it will be possible to do this by trying it many times without getting discouraged or exhausted. Be sure that if you read this article again ten years later and answer it with the same questions you know, you will see that another ten years of yours have been lost. Then, reveal what's on your mind right now, right now, and do what you can do right here and now, and don't make an effort for what you can't do. Wait a while, put forward your thoughts again, do what you can do and don't make an effort for what you can't do. For example, you are extremely worried about your child, will anything happen to him? I wonder what he's doing now? He's late home, will something happen to him? You want to call and ask immediately and take control. So, do you guarantee anything to prevent anything from happening? Essentially, what needs to be accepted is that this is just a thought and we are talking with that thought. Maybe when you call your child and he falls down to reach his phone while you are calling, something happens to him? Therefore, answer the distress caused by this thought that occurs right now, at this moment, and ask the question "What can I do right now?", look around you and if there is something you can do at that moment, you will do it anyway, but do not make extra effort for the things that you cannot do or cannot do. Accept the things you can't do. For example, I don't want to get cancer, so I worry and constantly think about what I can do. To avoid cancer, do whatever needs to be done right now, continue doing what you do without making any effort for what you cannot do. Because you can do what you can do right now. Now, think about what you should or shouldn't do. Look around you, what can I do about this thought right now? Answer now. If you can't answer it, don't bother. I want you to know that you can express this thought in your mind in this way. As long as you discipline yourself and continue to live only by accepting what you can or cannot do at that moment, after a while your life will truly become worth living. Therefore, when we consider the thought of death, if death is somehow real and we are not dying right now, right now, at this second while reading this article and we have not died yet, we will distinguish between the feeling of death and death the moment we put aside what we can do and what we cannot do right now.
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