Be a trusted and accountable partner
When you think of trust in relationships, you probably think of rebuilding it after an event where trust was questioned and/or lost. Some common reasons why trust becomes an issue in relationships are dishonesty, distrust, and betrayal.
Let's focus on building a foundation of trust from the start of the relationship. To avoid the pitfalls of the problems listed above, there are four practical, concrete ways to build and maintain trust.
CREATING DAILY CONFIDENCE
Say what you mean and mean what you say . Your word matters, so it's important to match actions with words. An example of implementing this is fulfilling commitments. If you say "I'll be there to help with your move on Saturday" you should make sure you're there on Saturday. Making promises (especially in new relationships) is extremely easy because you care about the person. But when you make promises you can't keep, you do MORE harm. Be sure to convey this to your partner. Saying what you mean and making sense of what you say lets your partner know that they can trust your words. It is important to maintain the relationship. It is equally important in romantic relationships. Your partner is NOT a mind reader, so state your intentions and state them often. An example of how to implement this: If you want to have movie night on Wednesday, pass it on to your partner. Another example is if you are considering making big changes in your life in the future, let your partner know. Communicating your intentions lets your partner know what you're thinking so they don't have to guess, make assumptions, and be caught off guard. Accountability is important in all relationships. Your partner wants to know that when you make a mistake, you will admit it! We all do them. Build trust in a relationship, take responsibility for your mistake, ask how you can make it better, and make sure you don't make that mistake again.
4. ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH
This may seem simple, but how many kindhearted people can lie. You will be surprised by what you say. Good people lie to avoid conflict, get out of situations, and please the other person. When you're not honest about the little things (think white lies), it makes it harder for others to trust you when it comes to bigger issues. An alternative to telling a white lie is to give yourself time to think about the problem. "I'm not sure yet, can I get back to you?" or “I'm feeling emotional about this topic, I'd like to lay it out and come back when I feel more grounded” are better options than lying. Telling the truth all the time is the first step to building trust in relationships on a daily basis.
BE CONSISTENTLY CONSISTENT
These four practical tips for building trust in everyday relationships are a powerful tool for your relationship. It will help you get started with the basics. If you are currently in a relationship, I urge you to look at yourself and ask yourself if you have followed these four tips. If not, choose one to actively work on. Practice the tip for two weeks before moving on to the next tip. Building trust is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient and take your time. Your relationship will be better for it.
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