One of the best feelings a person can have in life is undoubtedly being a parent. Every adult, even before becoming pregnant, thinks about what kind of child she will have, who he will look like, what his name will be, etc. thinks about issues and dreams about them. Everyone dreams of an ideal, perfect child. Of course, especially during pregnancy, families say things like "it doesn't matter whether it's a girl or a boy or who it looks like, just be healthy", but this is just a wish. They don't do research on this or have no idea what to do in this situation. Therefore, when it is learned that the newborn baby will be a child with special needs, the family's world literally collapses. They go through stages such as shock, denial of the situation, blaming themselves and others about this situation, 'I wish I had not lifted that chair, gone to another doctor, etc.', suffering and depression, and searching for solutions. Having a child with special needs is difficult. The important thing is to go through these stages and accept the child as he is.
*Early diagnosis and treatment is very important for a child with special needs. It is necessary to make a diagnosis without wasting any time and to start health and education services related to this diagnosis as soon as possible.
*It is very important to accept the child as he is, with all his shortcomings and excesses, without wasting any time.
*Accepting the child as he is will help you overcome the difficulties he will experience in social life. You may be exposed to the looks or words of your relatives, neighbors, or even strangers you have only met once. It is important to accept your child as he is so that both you and your child are least affected by this situation.
*Never restrict your child from social environments, do not lock him at home, and do not hesitate to take him to others. Take them outdoors a lot, introduce them to their environment, take them to environments where they can meet with their peers, and give them the opportunity to do activities that will be useful for them to communicate with them.
*Set goals for your children, but do not expect more than they can do, never compare them with their peers. Don't make sentences like Ali did it, why can't you do it?
*Don't expect anything less than you can do. My child is already a child with special needs, he cannot do anything, do not approach him with an overly protective attitude such as "Let me feed him and dress him." Give them the opportunity to do what they can do. In this way, you instill self-confidence in your children.
*Treat your children decisively and consistently. So if one parent allows or says yes to something, the other parent should also agree. When you do not behave consistently, the child; He/she will learn to use the spaces and this will cause behavioral problems in your child. The same parent's reaction to the same issues at different times should be the same. For example, if you ignore a wrong behavior one day and get angry the next day, this will cause the child to not be able to distinguish right from wrong, thus causing behavioral problems.
*Reinforce your child's positive behavior. You can achieve this with rewards. There doesn't always need to be financial rewards. Sometimes hugging, saying good-bye, kissing will be much more useful than buying chocolate from the market. You will see this.
*Never reinforce negative behavior. For example, do not give him rewards for crying or to make him shut up. This situation will lead to an increase in bad behavior such as crying, shouting and throwing oneself on the ground.
*Failure to observe positive behavior may also lead to negative behavior. For example, you ignored your child who was playing nicely with his sibling. He then threw a toy at his brother and you immediately went over to them. From now on, your child will continue to misbehave just to have you around him. Family statements such as "My child is behaving this way to attract attention" are a perfect example of this situation.
*Make sure to explain to your child the reasons for both the reward and the punishment you will give. In this way, the child becomes aware of his behavior and its consequences.
*Never give physical or psychological punishment to your child. Your behavior such as hitting, harming, insulting; Not only will it create a rift between you and your child, but it will not help in eliminating bad behavior.
*Do not deprive your child of education. Special education is essential for all children with special needs. This In addition, be sure to benefit from the support training provided by schools.
*Educate your child at home, too. Teach him to do his own self-care skills. Teach them the skills they will need in daily life, such as preparing a table, making a sandwich, dusting, sewing buttons, or paying bills, taking the bus, withdrawing money from an ATM, which they will need in social life.
*Meet with the families of other individuals with special needs. come together. Share your feelings, thoughts, ideas.
*Get information about your child's diagnosis. In this way, you will be able to follow your behavior towards your child, your child's deficiencies, the source of these deficiencies, and your child's development more closely.
*Most importantly, be sure to show your love to your child. THERE IS NO DOOR THAT LOVE CANNOT OPEN.
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