When I was conducting a group session, most of the men who participated in this group said that their marriages were in good shape. In this group, which consists of men who have been married for 10-12 years, the men on my right are men who are loyal to their wives, and those on my left are men who take different people into their lives at regular intervals. This group of men especially choose women who will not demand anything from them or cause problems during the relationship.
Those who choose to be faithful to their spouses clearly state that they do not even think of having another woman in their lives, and that if they cheat, they will be morally disturbed and will not be able to look at their spouses. And because of this conscience disorder, they fear that their marriage will end by moving away from their spouses.
In the other group, a man who takes third parties into his life clearly states that he loves his wife very much, that he works very hard, and that spending time with them makes him very happy. He says that what makes him so moderate, tolerant and soft is thanks to those little escapades he made. He says that thanks to those getaways, he was able to relax and hug his wife tightly.
Those who separate their homes and live separately so that their relationship can continue, those who get married but do not have children, those who live together without a marriage contract, those who marry just to maintain their relationship. In short, being able to have a long relationship means that the relationship Those who want to experience the sense of belonging it brings...
Metropolitan people who have reached a certain age, have life experience, have run out of hopes for life, and have neither the strength nor the time for another "new" relationship, that "new" relationship is the same, What should experienced life-weary people who have experienced certain phases and experienced that the previous relationship will be a repeat should do? Try to protect their existing relationships? Is it the feeling of trust and security provided by a certain routine, known, and habits that we need?
Or a new one?
To get caught up in the excitement of a relationship and pursue the deception called love, or to breathe in the atmosphere of a new relationship that will make us feel stronger and increase our sense of confidence? Which one?
The memories and experiences accumulated over the years, the friendship reinforced by the problems overcome together, the Does choosing to give up on life, instead of the sexual excitement promised by a foreign body whose taste is not yet known, mean giving up on life?
Should I support those who act from a conscientious point of view because they remain faithful, or should I judge others for cheating on their wives, or so on? Should I congratulate them for being able to maintain such relationships for a long time?
In a time when the most important emotion that defines the individual due to the aggravated living conditions of today's metropolises is "anxiety", we need peaceful relationships that can relieve our anxiety. In a relationship where we don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, the warmth of our lover, whose reaction we know in any situation, is the only thing that will enable us to be creative in other areas of life.
In my group study, I shared the results of a research conducted with group members who believed that their spouses were waiting for them with great loyalty in their homes. . Recent statistical studies have shown that women's cheating rates are close to men's cheating rates. Of course, the group may be an exceptional group, but according to the results of the research, at least three people's wives were cheating on their spouses even within this group.
When I shared this statistic, the group became quite uneasy. Everyone bowed their heads and said, "Please don't think of bad things." “Besides, my wife wouldn't have cheated on me unless I knew!”….
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