'How are you?'
How many times do we hear this question every day and how many times do we ask it to someone? The answer is usually the same, languages are used to it: "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?" So what do minds want to say? "Will he understand me? Will he judge me? Will he shame me?" Their reservations are sometimes strengthened by the environment and sometimes by time not allowing it. Answers are given by heart and most of the time we are left to ourselves how we really are. Sometimes a pen and a piece of paper is enough to explain, and sometimes we share how we are in the therapy room... As humans, we can get angry, sad, happy, and sometimes overjoyed at different times. We want positive emotions to always be with us, and we want to never experience negative emotions. So is this possible? How realistic is it for a person who experiences constant happiness and joy? Shouldn't happiness leave us alone for a moment? Can a person always remain happy in the hustle and bustle of life, when the day changes into day and night, the weather is different in every season and even every week, and flowers sometimes bloom and sometimes fade? Irvin Yalom explains in his book Religion and Psychiatry: "French novelist Andre Malraux talks about a country priest who summarizes what he learned about human nature by listening to the confessions of people confessing for decades: 'First of all, people are much more unhappy than they think... and there is no such thing as a mature person. no.' It is the fate of everyone, including patients and therapists, to experience the darkness that is as inevitable as the joy of life: disappointment, aging, illness, isolation, loss, meaninglessness, difficult choices and death."
Yes, the most important sentence I underlined here is: 'experiencing the darkness that is as inevitable as the joy of life' Of course, happiness is not the only feeling we should experience. As a requirement of being human, we need to experience every emotion. Wanting only happiness and only making room for it inside us tires us both physically and mentally. If what we want is a feeling of inner peace, a sense of meaningful life, or mental satisfaction, perhaps the way to achieve this is to make room for each emotion and experience them... What do you think?
In fact, it is more functional to understand what the emotion tells us rather than whether it is positive or negative. . Evaluating how realistic our thoughts accompanying emotions are gives us awareness and provides an opportunity for change. pomegranate.
Hakan Türkçapar says in his book Notice, Think, Feel, Live; "Emotion is not a sign to be destroyed, but first to be accepted, experienced and evaluated. Emotion is a messenger that brings news from the outer world and our inner world. This messenger can sometimes bring good and sometimes bad news. But let's not forget that in the case of bad news, destroying the messenger does not eliminate the news." .
Read: 0
