I spent a lot of time in hospitals recently due to the illness of my friends and relatives. In particular, I tried to be with the patients and their relatives who struggled with the coronavirus curse, and I helped as much as I could.
While we were happy with those whose life story continues and what the Creator has bestowed on their loved ones, we also experienced the sadness of those whose due date has expired and who received the mercy of the right.
So this week, I wanted to touch on the psychology of mourning after the loss.
In addition to the experiences that human beings can control in their life journey, there are also painful experiences that they cannot control. The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful experiences that are out of our control. Grieving as a result of being exposed to painful situations is a natural response and must be experienced. If the individual does not grieve after the loss, we can talk about an abnormal situation there.
The grieving process is very challenging. This period has some physical, emotional, cognitive and behavioral symptoms.
In the mourning period, the individual may show human symptoms such as feeling like he is going to suffocate, decreased appetite, feelings of guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, avoiding stimuli that will remind him of loss, and disbelief in loss. These symptoms also differ from person to person. We cannot talk about the same grief period symptoms for every individual.
If the mourning process has not become pathological in the individual who has lost, the ideal target is; It is the ability to accept the loss and reorganize his life. Of course, it is foreseen to pass through certain stages for this.
In the first stage, when the loss is learned, the individual experiences shock and numbness.
In the second stage, the person denies the loss and there may be a situation of social withdrawal. Or he may deny the loss as if nothing had happened.
If the individual overcomes the first and second stages in his natural process, the probability of starting to adapt to life gradually increases. The danger of the first and second stages is depressive exacerbations.
The individual who can pass to the third stage in the natural process wants the lost person to come back. He is in the period of questioning, loneliness and anger. Experiencing these real feelings indicates an effort to adapt.
In the last stage, the person is in his hands. With the feeling that nothing is coming, he experiences feelings of helplessness and then enters a process of acceptance. With the decrease in the intensity of the grief reactions, the person begins to adapt to life.
These stages do not have to go in the order in which they were written. The order may change.
However;
If the grief process of the individual does not subside between six and twenty-four months, we can talk about the danger of pathological mourning.
If the person experiences intense feelings of guilt twenty-four months after the loss, has suicidal thoughts, cannot control his anger If there is a constant interest in the memories and belongings of the lost person, if they have somatic problems, it is time to seek an expert. Try not to close the dialogue.
-Do not stop your crying. Crying is a natural and relaxing behavior that shows you have feelings.
- Don't neglect your basic physical needs. (sleep, nutrition, etc.)
- Try to leave the grieving process to time. If you constantly try to forget, you actually remove the stage of acceptance.
-Be prepared for the compelling effect of special days about the lost person.
-Be aware of the grieving process, allow this process to happen, everything Don't expect it to be the same as before.
-It may be good to talk to people who have experienced similar losses.
-It will be good to visit the grave, pray and experience your pain. Do not suppress your sadness.
-Do not stay away from your daily social activities. It will be beneficial for you to slowly return to your social life after the loss.
I take this opportunity to wish God's mercy on my uncle Süleyman Peker, who we lost recently, spent every period of his life with goodness and beauty, and then we call a beautiful person with full of hearts. May the places of all our loved ones and good people be the most beautiful corner of heaven...
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