Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) has been called many different names by many different authors to date. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) behaviors were first described by William Reich in 1945. Reich stated that individuals with certain character traits denigrate the other parent and fight for their children in order to defend themselves against the narcissistic injury that will occur as a result of divorce. Narcissistic injury can simply be explained as a loss of self-confidence. Not every individual reacts the same way when their self-confidence is shaken; while some experience this situation as constructive, others turn it into a destructive experience and can cause psychological-physiological harm to those around them.
In the 1980s, parents and their children who were divorced or divorced Richard Gardner, who frequently worked with, was the first person to describe parental alienation syndrome. Gardner noticed that these children sided with the parent they lived with after divorce or separation and developed hostility, alienation and cognitive distortions towards the other parent, and conceptualized this situation as Parental Alienation Syndrome (FMS).
Parental Alienation Syndrome (FMS). It is a disorder that usually occurs in disputes regarding child custody. The main symptom of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is when a child is targeted and exposed to a slander campaign against a parent. After a while, children, especially those who have not reached sufficient mental maturity and have not developed cognitive awareness, also become involved in this process. The child, who is already traumatized during the divorce process, enjoys the confidence and support that being in alliance with the parent he lives with will provide him with, and gradually moves away from the other parent.
Gardner lists eight criteria for parental alienation syndrome. He stated that if these features are present, parental alienation syndrome can be mentioned. These criteria are:
1.Slander Campaign Against the Target Parent: This target parent is usually the parent who leaves home. Depending on the reasons and form of divorce, anger may arise against the parent who leaves the house.
2. Dragging the Child into Inconsistent, Illogical, Weak and Absurd Logic to Reject the Target Parent: Including the child in the slander campaign launched against the target parent.
3. Lack of Conflicting Feelings in the Child towards the Target Parent: The child does not feel the feeling of loss of being separated from the parent or the feelings of guilt for denigrating the target parent, and isolates himself to cope with these feelings. It is seen that the child's affect is suppressed and prevents his expression.
4. Independent Thinker Phenomenon: This is when the child ignores his own feelings or wishes and expresses what he has learned from the parent. The child who feels or is made to feel that he has lost the other parent resorts to this situation to gain the trust of the parent he is staying with.
5. The Child's Unconditional Support for the Alienated Parent: The child accepts everything the parent he lives with says, does not question it and submits to the imposed ideas. It offers unconditional support to the parent it lives with in every environment. It is seen that the reason behind this situation is that the child, who thinks that he has lost one parent, clings to the other parent out of concern that he may lose the other parent as well.
6. Lack of Obvious Guilt in the Child: The child is insensitive to the target parent's self-induced unhappiness. The child may not show any signs of emotion, positive or negative.
7. Existence of Borrowed Scenarios: From time to time, regardless of the child's development level, some claims are tried to be imposed on the child. In this case, when asked, the child expressionlessly repeats what has been imposed on him/her.
8. The Feeling of Grudge and Hatred Spreading towards the Target Parent's Extended Family: It is possible that the negative expressions initiated against the target parent also extend to his extended family and the child's feelings and behaviors towards them change.
As can be seen, symptoms are intertwined; The presence of one symptom reveals the other. Conceptual discussions of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) continue. Alienation from every parent is a syndrome of parental alienation. This cannot be stated, but if there is alienation from the parent, alienation must be mentioned. One of the important points to consider is that not every situation in which the child refuses to meet with his or her parents should be considered as IMS. The distinguishing point here is the eight items listed above. The presence of these symptoms individually may not mean anything, but it is useful to pay attention to the fact that many symptoms are present at the same time and serve a single purpose.
Although EYS targets the alienated parent, it basically affects the child. It is a process that causes deep wounds in the spiritual world. Its most devastating effect is that it affects the child's attachment process, causing insecure attachment. Attachment is not limited to childhood, its effects last throughout life. Attachment is an emotional bond with consistency and continuity, manifested by the search for closeness in the relationship that develops between the child and the caregiver, and becomes especially evident in cases of stress. Inadequacies or disruptions that occur during childhood will negatively affect attachment.
EYS breaks down the child's boundaries, making him/her prone to rejecting or hating a parent. This situation affects the child emotionally, spiritually and spiritually at every level. One of the negative factors of EYS is that the child's identification object is missing. Developmentally, every child is attached to both parents after birth, the exception being prolonged absence. At an unconscious level, the child identifies with both parents, and after a certain period of time, removing one of the parents from the child's life also damages the object of the child's identification, and the effects of this situation are quite negative in terms of child psychology.
This One of the most accurate questions that can be asked at this point is; Why does alienation not occur in many divorced families, but does in some? The most important determining factor in parental alienation is the question of whether divorced couples see themselves as spouses or parents. When parents focus on each other as parents to their children, rather than as spouses or ex-spouses, they support each other as parents and remain important figures in their children's lives. Parental Alienation Syndrome It can be stated that the most important motivation is anger. The alienating parent succumbs to his anger, and it is very difficult for someone who succumbs to anger to act rationally and think clearly. Regardless of the reason for the end of the marriage, the child blames the other parent and acts out of revenge. The cause of anger may be logical or irrational, but expressing anger through a child is destructive.
The point that should be kept in mind at this point is that divorce itself does not cause problems in children, the real problem is parenting styles. and that parents' attitudes and behaviors after divorce cause the problem. The consequences of a child being subjected to such alienation during the divorce process (although they vary depending on many factors) are devastating. It is very important for the mental health of their children and themselves that parents are aware that even if they have given up on being spouses, they cannot give up being parents and taking joint responsibility for their children, and that they carry out the process with this awareness.
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