School Rejection (School Phobia)
School Refusal is defined as the child not wanting to go to school for various reasons. Anxiety often underlies not wanting to go to school. Other reasons include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, developmental delays, learning disorders, problems experienced at school, course failures, and financial inadequacies. In cases we have listed as other reasons, it causes school rejection by creating anxiety and unhappiness in the child.
School rejection can occur in any child who starts nursery, kindergarten or primary school. Although it usually appears at the beginning, it may also appear in later years. Social anxiety disorder (Social Phobia) or separation anxiety disorder usually underlies the anxiety that causes school refusal. These two conditions are often found together.
Social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder are often inherited, and this condition is actually present from the birth of the child. These two situations often do not attract the attention of families without a stressor or initiating reason. After the age of 1, families generally begin to describe these children as fond of us, fond of their mother or father, timid and shy. Families who send their children to nursery notice the situation earlier when the stressor (starting nursery) occurs.
Children with social anxiety disorder are noticed when they encounter unfamiliar environments or people. Since they are timid and shy, they generally do not cause problems. Since school consists of many unfamiliar children and environments, it is considered a very dangerous environment in the eyes of children with social anxiety disorder. The greater the severity of social anxiety disorder, the more they do not want to go and the longer it takes to get used to school.
Separation anxiety disorder is often seen in children with social anxiety disorder. While children with separation anxiety disorder become overly attached to the people they trust (mother, father, caregiver, etc.), they stay away from people and environments they do not know, do not trust, do not spend time with, and perceive as dangerous. Because of the anxiety in both social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder, children They may perceive the school they attend for the first time as an object of anxiety and insist on not going to it. The greater the severity of anxiety, the greater the school refusal.
Another important reason that causes school refusal is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder do not like disciplined, rule-bound environments such as school because they get bored easily, are overactive, hasty and impatient. At the same time, when they start having problems in classes, they do not want to go to school. Since lack of self-confidence seems to be high in children with attention deficit, overactive children cause problems in going to school because they do not like rule-based and disciplined environments. Some of them start school and as time progresses, they do not want to go to school.
Learning Disorders and developmental delays negatively affect children's self-confidence, leading to school refusal. In Oppositional Defiant Disorder, children do not want to go to school because they are completely stubborn with their families. Most of the time, families try to take their children to school with various rewards. The reward system may become insufficient after a while and the child may not want to go to school again. Previous problems experienced at school may create trauma or adaptation problems in children and cause them to develop resistance to going to school.
So what should families do in this case?
In general, families They interpret anxiety as stubbornness and try to be stubborn with the child or take it by force. One of the most common mistakes is not being aware of the anxiety experienced by the child. Another important point is the cause of anxiety. As we mentioned above, if anxiety is present from birth, this anxiety is hereditary. If it is an anxiety that arises later, it is anxiety caused by environmental reasons and it is necessary to find out the reason. To give an example of environmental reasons, it could be something as simple as a relative scaring you about school. Sometimes, there may be an environmental reason why we, as parents, explain to children what school is from the child's perspective. In some cases, even the children themselves may not understand why the anxiety occurs.
There is a need for the child to understand what school is, why he goes to school, and what is done at school. It is necessary to explain it in another language.
If our child has concerns, it is necessary to reassure him. This should not mean doing everything they say, because sometimes children can notice the concerns of the parents and use the families.
It is necessary to speak in a clear, simple, comfortable language that the child can understand.
Which parent communicates more easily with the child and is more If the child is less anxious, it would be better for that parent to drop him off at school.
Parents need to control their own anxiety about school. Most of the time, even if the children are comfortable, families can be more anxious than the children. If parents cannot feel comfortable, they may need to get help in this regard.
It is necessary to reassure the child by telling him who will pick him up after school ends. Because children may think that they will be dropped off at school and never picked up again.
In case of anxiety, exercises should be done slowly. Dropping him off at school or making him cry often does not work.
If he/she has difficulty controlling his/her anxiety, the child and the family may need help in this regard.
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