There are people around us who make life difficult for themselves and the people around them, reduce their quality of life, and make you say "oh no, he's here again". But what is more important is that this person could also be you. This article will describe difficult people and methods of dealing with them.
A personality in which some character traits are very pronounced or hardened, causing an inability to adapt to situations and causing suffering for oneself, others, or both parties. We call people who are organized difficult people. In other words, they are people with whom we have difficulty communicating. The times we are with these people are painful for us and are undesirable moments to experience.
Past negative experiences, traumas thrown into the subconscious, the person he takes as a model and idol being a difficult person, inherited or acquired personality disorders. It causes people to develop a difficult personality.
It is possible to classify difficult person types in different ways. We can list the most common ones as follows:
Aggressive people, those who complain about everything, even about themselves, those who know everything, victims, passive aggressive people, those who constantly make fun of and humiliate... We can increase their number.
Coping strategies can be developed according to difficult types of people. However, it would be appropriate to first determine the basic ideas and approaches on which these strategies are based. We recommend that you ask the questions below for these basic ideas and approaches.
Is it worth it?
- First of all, the person who forces you What is "value" in your life?
- Is the energy you will spend to deal with this difficult person worth this person?
- What will you do as a result of what you do against these difficulties? What will you achieve?
- Will this achievement make a positive contribution to you or the other person?
Define why it causes difficulties.
- Why does this person cause difficulties for me?
- Is he aware that he is causing difficulties?
- Is his difficulties due to a financial reason?
What is your relationship?
- What kind of relationship do you have with this person?
- (Work, friendship, relative…) Would breaking up your relationship cause any harm to you or them?
After these questions, we recommend you to do the basic behaviors mentioned below.
Set your limits.
Difficult people often like to violate boundaries. You need to set boundaries, especially if you are dealing with a difficult person type due to narcissistic personality disorder. You can set limits on anyone, no matter who they are. This could be your boss, your spouse, or your child. The basis of interpersonal relationship management is setting boundaries. Especially if this person has a difficult personality.
Focus on the solution, not the problems
People who push you usually create problems for you. They will not accept it. A difficult personality type with antisocial personality disorder will disregard you and your feelings. In fact, this will seem normal to him since he has no emotions. Having certain rules, principles and boundaries in your relationships with these types of people will make you comfortable.
Talk about their behavior, not the person.
Difficult. Communicating and maintaining communication with people with different personalities sometimes turns into torture. In this process, it is useless to talk about the events and the person himself or to talk about all your discomforts at once. In such a situation, it would be more effective to just talk about one behavior and get to work.
Forgive.
People with difficult personalities will give you financial support. and may have caused moral harm. If you have to continue your relationship with these people for some reason, forgive what happened in the past. Without forgiveness, it will be much more difficult to deal with this person. People with difficult personalities can often flex relatively a bit after their forties. The rigidity in their personalities may soften a little. If you have such people in your life, forgiving what happened in the past will reduce your burden.
Get help
If you have tried all the methods you know and still this person If you are having a hard time coping with If it has to be on your yacht for some reason, be sure to get help from an expert. The person in the problem is usually very far from the solution of the problem.
Ext.Psych.Erdal Usluer
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