73% of average children experience nocturnal fears, that is, night fears, between the ages of 4-12 (Muris et al 2001). The reason for crying at night before the age of 4 is separation anxiety. Separation anxiety and neglect are among the leading causes of night terrors. Even though the family thinks that they are very interested in their child, sometimes the time spent without quality can reach the point of neglect. Many parents may be unaware of their children's fears or may react differently to this situation.
Research shows that when adults have difficulty coping with their worries and fears, they are exposed to high levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, as a result of feeling uncontrolled, sad and threatened ( Adam et al 2006). Assuming that an adult has more advanced coping skills than a child, this situation may be more severe physically and psychologically in children whose coping skills are not developed or missing compared to adults.
In addition, recent research shows that night fears can cause certain mental disorders. It shows what it has opened. Among these disorders, anxiety disorder, impulsivity, attention deficit and others are at the top of the list. (Kushnir et al, 2014)
Techniques
Reassure your child – listen to him/her, validate his/her feelings and emotions, but never ever confirm his/her fears! In order to communicate correctly with your child, you need to learn to listen well. However, the most common sentence we hear from children in the therapy room is 'my mother and father pretend to listen to me, but actually they don't listen, they don't understand, etc.' is happening. If the parent has difficulty instilling a sense of trust in his child in his speech, the child is unlikely to feel safe at home.
'Honey, I can see that you are afraid, I can guess how you feel. But what you need to know is that you are safe in this room, in this house, with us.'
Also, you can discuss the difference between reality and fantasy with your child.
If you are going to have this conversation, you need to put your other things aside completely. would be the best option, or 'Shall we talk about this with you after I finish my work?' It should be in the - direction.
Teach your child coping techniques. Remind them – during the session, your child is taught certain coping techniques, breathing exercises, 'special friend' techniques, etc. You can remind your child of these techniques when necessary.
Strict rules before sleep – having certain strict rules before sleep reduces the child's fears at night. For example: after dinner, overstimulation of children's brains should be avoided – such as TV programs, computer games. Ensuring that they take a warm shower before sleeping, reading a book, etc. There may be one or more of the rules that may be suitable for your child.
Ensuring that your child sleeps in his/her own room – when you allow your child to sleep with you, even if it is just once, you are actually telling him/her, 'You are right, your room is not safe!' You are giving the message. However, our expectation is that the child feels safe in his own space, as in the first item.
Certain points where your psychologist will help you:
-
Creating a list of words and phrases that parents can use to help the child
-
Teaching the child to cope with current challenges and stand on his own feet. Because self-confidence problems are among the most common triggers we encounter.
-
Noting the concerns the child experiences during the day. Stress during the day may trigger night fears.
-
It may be possible for you to determine or review the child's bedtime together. If you want him to go to bed very early, spending too much time in his room without sleeping may not be a suitable option.
-
Working on his emotional distress - sibling jealousy, parental jealousy, family problems, etc.
Read: 0
