In certain areas of life, you may find it difficult to say "no" to certain people. For example, seemingly minor behaviors such as answering incoming calls outside of working hours or not being able to postpone an appointment even though we are not available actually steal the time we allot for you.
Building good relationships is very important for everyone. However, some of the behaviors you do to establish good relations may be hurting you. With the right boundaries we set, it is possible to develop a healthy relationship and be self-sufficient.
What does it mean?
Every no is not the same. You cannot get the same result every time you say no. By saying no or not, you define who you are, what you want, what you don't want, what your needs are, the value you place on your own wants and needs, and the value you place on the wants and needs of others.
How to say a healthy no?
No is a healthy no when it is said at the appropriate place and time, in a way that will produce healthy results for you and the people you care about in the long run, and in a way that does not harm.
Healthy borders begin with healthy good deeds.
You can create time to think instead of responding immediately.
To give an example; Let's say that someone at the workplace makes an impromptu request from you. It would be better not to give an immediate response to this request. You can ask the other person to send this via an e-mail or a message, and you can both relax in time and also deny what you actually accept or reject. You can clearly see what you are doing.
There is no need to make long explanations after healthy charities. "No, but..." can give the message. Or, on the contrary, the statement “Yes, but…” to the other side is “I can give up at any time.” It can also relax you while giving the message.
Instead of using the word "no", you can say things that mean "no" by using the language of "I".
• Briefly describe the behavior you do not want to do. “You want me to do .............”
• Tell your own truth and feelings about the behavior you do not want to do.
• Try to describe how you will feel if you do this and the effect it will have on you. “If I do........ I will feel unhappy” or “If I do........ my work will be disrupted, I will get nervous, I will be too tired to finish” or “... ...... if it happens, I will be very restless" Etc.
After listing the reasons for saying "no", it will be easier to say that you cannot do it. You can also say no by saying that you are busy from time to time, and sometimes you have no knowledge about it.
Remember that; Saying “no” does not mean rejecting that person. It just means to declare with justifications that you cannot do that job under those conditions. You can do that job at another time or under any circumstance when you feel appropriate, or you can help the other person in another time period.
At the appropriate place&nb As you learn to say no properly, you will begin to draw limits on which you can determine your place in life. This is your most natural right. Borders are your friend!
If you are having difficulties in determining or maintaining the boundaries you will set, you can consider getting support from an expert.
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