What is the role and importance of being able to say no in our lives? First of all, you need to fully understand this. Imagine your mind is like a radio. You will enjoy listening to your favorite channels. When the channel you are listening to is not receiving full reception, you will start to hear crackling. When you continue not to pull more and more, these squeaks gradually increase and this situation disturbs you. It causes you not to understand what you are listening to and not to enjoy it. You will have a hard time continuing to listen.
Here are the crackles you hear when he is not filming; You can think of your needs and priorities as decisions made about you by others when you do not know yourself and do not hear yourself. When other people's priorities and desires become the most important in your own life, you start to lose track of yourself. The squeaks in your life, that is, external control, continue to increase.
That's why we need to say no and clarify our boundaries in order to be in the leading role in our own lives and to make decisions from within ourselves, rather than from outside to inside.
Being able to say no is a powerful wiper in our lives; It expands our field of vision and allows us to see more clearly. And let's not forget that as we say No, our Yeses about ourselves increase and we begin to see ourselves more clearly.
What Are the Feelings and Thoughts Underlying Not Being able to Say No?
Reşat Nuri Güntekin said, “We prefer to say No, it's my job.” We are people who cannot say "no way". He summarizes the society we live in with the saying "Our tiredness never ends".
So why can't we manage to say no, what thoughts feed this tiredness?
Ø Shame on you
Ø Oh people Don't be nervous
Ø Don't let an argument arise
Ø Don't talk behind your back
Ø Don't let them think bad about me
Ø Will it stick to my hand, let me do it just this once
Ø Nothing happens once...
What are the feelings underlying these and similar thoughts and assumptions?
Ø Fear of losing
Ø Feeling of worthlessness
Ø Guilt
Ø Escaping from loneliness
Ø Fear of not being loved
Ø Expectations, not being met expectation of seeing someone better, etc.
Ø Fear of being misunderstood…
What emerges as a result of these emotions, what discomforts begin to occur in ourselves? Burnout, introversion, chronic fatigue, exhaustion, anger, complexity….
Do these disorders sound familiar to you, which ones do you have? What thoughts and feelings accompany it? What do you become addicted to while running away from all these emotions? Is running away your solution?
How Can We Say No?
First of all, evaluate the situation you are in. Observe what feelings and thoughts accompany it. And don't feel guilty when you say No. Trying to be sufficient for everything is not our primary duty, let's not take on the responsibility of finding a solution before it is necessary.
Saying no does not make us indifferent and thoughtless. On the contrary, it shows that we can see our own needs and the needs of those around us accurately and clearly. By letting go of the things we reluctantly say Yes to, we actually choose honesty.
Let's determine our limits and priorities;
· Let's determine correctly what we will do & what we cannot do.
· What we really want to do & what we do not want to do. ?
· What are our priorities for ourselves? & What are the priorities of others?
· Who we are and who we are not?
When we find answers by truly thinking about these, we will know ourselves and value ourselves more. We will approve ourselves more.
After considering the answers to these questions, let's prepare a priority list for ourselves. You can especially determine what you cannot say no to, what is beyond your control, and start from the points where you have difficulty intervening. First of all, we need to develop these muscles with small practices. Do saying No exercises for 1 week and observe yourself. While doing these exercises, let's be sincere in our intentions, make a clear and polite statement, and stand tall without giving up.
We all have the ability to say no and take the leading role, but we have difficulties in how and where to use it. First of all, learning to use it efficiently We must be diligent and strive so that we can see the fruitful results as we experience.
And let's not forget that saying No does not make us selfish, on the contrary, it reveals our personality and ourselves.
Read: 0
