We experience many different relationships during and after the period from adolescence to adulthood. While these relationships are sometimes relationships in which our investment is high, contain romantic elements, and are emotionally intense; Sometimes we can have one-night or short-term relationships with people whom we do not feel anything about emotionally, but who are physically attractive.
Strenberg's study is a stimulating study about what emotions love consists of and what kinds of relationships these emotions form. . Psychiatrist Robert Sternberg, an important name in the field of psychology, explains the dimensions of love and relationship with the triangle theory.
According to this theory, love; Intimacy is divided into different dimensions with different combinations of commitment and passion states.
- The state of not being in love:It describes the situations in which all three main elements of love are absent. . The relationships we have with our friends and family are relationships that do not contain the elements of love.
- Liking:It is the love in which emotions that can be perceived as friendship are felt. It includes states of closeness, devotion and warmth towards the partner.
- Infatuated love: It is the love that is dominated by the hormonal changes and physical attraction you experience when you see your partner for the first time. Romantic relationships usually begin at the level of infatuation, and over time, they begin to shift towards romantic love as commitment, long-term plans, and responsibility come into play. If feelings of closeness and commitment are not activated, it will end in a very short time.
- Empty love:Closeness and affection. It is the type of love that does not involve love, only commitment. Strong loves can deteriorate over time and turn into empty love. Planned marriages can turn into empty love over time.
- Romantic love:It is a type of love that includes commitment and passion. In addition to being physically attracted to each other, people in romantic relationships also feel emotional closeness to each other. The element of closeness is missing in this relationship.
- Friendly love:These are the loves in which there is no passion and there is a high degree of commitment. It is a relationship that is a little more advanced than friendship due to the element of commitment.
- Stupid love: It is a type of love that has high levels of commitment and passion elements, but lacks closeness and logic. .
- Perfect love:It is the most balanced and healthy type of love. It contains the elements of intimacy, commitment and passion in a balanced way. According to Sternberg, couples who have achieved perfect love do not consider the possibility that they could feel happier with someone else, no matter how much time passes since their relationship. The passion, devotion and closeness they feel for each other is always balanced and continuous. Reaching this dimension in a relationship is possible for most people, but the important thing is to achieve a long-term and permanent togetherness at this dimension.
You may not have looked at love in such a technical dimension before, but if you review your previous relationships, You can more or less place which category your relationship is in.
How do you know that you are in love?
While we are talking about the subject of love, it may be useful to take a look at the psychological studies that have been done on this subject. we think. Many of us try to explain what we feel when we fall in love with a number of physical and psychological phenomena, such as butterflies flying in our stomach and our eyes not seeing anyone other than the person we are in love with. However, love is a situation that involves much more than what we feel and is much more complex than it seems.
According to many theories, there are 3 main symptoms that show that we are in loveemotional burn familiarity, similarity and physical closeness. According to psychology, the extent of emotional closeness between you and someone and how long you have known that person is a factor that determines whether you will have a relationship with that person. In other words, it is not possible for you to fully fall in love with a passer-by who is a complete stranger to you.
Similarity is also an important factor that determines whether a relationship can start or not. The idea that opposites attract is a completely fabricated and empty statement. Scientific studies show that it is possible for people to have a healthy relationship to the extent that they can find common ground with each other.
Physical closeness is one of the important factors that determine whether you can fall in love with someone. The closer you are to your partner physically, the more likely you are to start a romantic relationship with them. In other words, you are more likely to have a relationship with someone you work with at the same workplace than with your old school friend.
I think I helped you look at love from a different perspective by examining it through Sternberg's theory, but there are hundreds of things about what love is, what it is measured by, and what values it contains. There is a study and approach. It is not possible to fully define the feeling of love, which contains personal elements and is directly linked to human psychology. For this reason, each individual's definition of love, the meaning and emotions they attribute to love are quite different and subjective. In my opinion, do not get lost in the theory of love and put it into practice and enjoy every bite of love...
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