We know that every individual is different, that every person thinks differently and acts differently from each other. Generally, we interpret the reason for this as differences in character, personality and temperament. Well, when we look at what else affects these, I can say that the subject I will talk about this week is AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS. Before explaining automatic thoughts, there is an important point I want to mention. In fact, these are our invisible glasses that each of us have without knowing it. These glasses, which allow us to perceive events differently from each other, determine our perspective on the world. It consists of the good/bad experiences we have had throughout our lives, our experiences, and what we have learned. When we are faced with an event, we associate it with a similar event we have experienced before and shape our behaviors and emotions. In other words, our reactions to events depend on how much we see through our glasses and how we perceive them. The benefit of knowing this and being aware of these glasses is; empathy.. You now know in the language of psychology that each of us has different glasses. In order to understand someone else, trying to wear their glasses will help you understand the other person better and naturally express yourself better.
As I just mentioned, these glasses of ours, which are formed from our experiences, lead us to certain thoughts. Although whether this is good or bad varies depending on the person's life (experiences), it can sometimes reach disturbing levels. Perhaps what many of us call prejudice is a mental function that affects us unconsciously; automatic thoughts. In fact, they are our thoughts that we believe in and accept as true. I would like to explain this with some examples from daily life.
“ Ayşe saw me while passing by but did not greet me, there is definitely something wrong.”
“I could not succeed in this job, they thought I was an incompetent employee. , they will fire me”
“If I express my feelings openly, they won't like me”
“I keep calling and calling, he doesn't answer, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore”
“Regarding this product "I couldn't give enough information, they won't call me again to get information."
Perhaps you may have gained these experiences in previous events. You may even experience a few more events that reinforce these experiences, thus establishing the automatic thought in your brain. Based on your experiences, you may be thinking of sentences that include automatic thoughts after the comma in the examples. If you think that you need to transform these thoughts that sometimes disturb yourself and sometimes the other person, it is useful to know that these thoughts are a trick of your subconscious mind. Maybe you may need to remind yourself that these thoughts that you believe to be absolutely true may not actually be so. You can create a different perspective by thinking, "Ayşe saw me while passing by but did not greet me, maybe she is very absent-minded today." Because your beliefs and experiences that bring this negative thought to your mind may cause you to argue with people for no reason, get upset, upset or angry. Remember that these general judgments you have accepted in an event that you have never remembered before may not always justify your thoughts. Why don't we ask Ayşe if she didn't greet us when she passed us? Maybe he had a very bad day and it would make him very happy if you asked him how he is. Don't let your automatic thoughts influence your daily life. Be aware of them and fight against them :)
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