The baby feels safe before birth, while in the womb. The type of birth and the emotions experienced by the mother at the time of birth and therefore caused by her baby, arouse the first anxiety in the baby. The first object that the baby internalizes after birth is the mother's breast. The baby does not perceive the breast as something different, it perceives it as an extension of its own arm or leg. If the first encounter with the breast is traumatic, the breast, which is the first object he internalizes, will also make him feel bad. In other words, the feeling that the object that is its extension, that is, itself, is bad becomes active. Therefore, the first relationship with the mother will also be bad.
The most effective role in the first relationship with the breast belongs to external factors. It is possible to include many factors within these external factors. As some of these; These may include having a difficult birth, the baby being deprived of oxygen at birth, or experiencing a shock during the adaptation process to the outside world. Therefore, negative external factors will not only traumatic the baby's first encounter with the breast, but will also cause the baby to turn the breast into an internal object in unfavorable conditions.
Again, during this period, an emotional exchange occurs between the mother and the baby due to the form of communication from the right brain to the right brain. It is possible. Variables such as whether the baby receives adequate care, whether the mother enjoys taking care of the baby or not, the anxious state of the mother, whether she experiences psychological difficulties while feeding the child, are of great importance in the baby's acceptance of milk with pleasure and in its ability to internalize the breast.
The mother who existed before birth. Child union ends with birth. The child sees the breast as a guarantee of being sure of the mother's love and wants to be with her constantly. In other words, it can be called the anxiety of being sure of the mother's love.
In the early emotional period, there is a good breast and a bad breast for the baby... The good breast is the symbol of the mother's goodness, inexhaustible patience and generosity, creativity, hope and trust. remains the basis of his belief in goodness. If it's a bad meme; It frustrates the baby. While the seeds of the frustrated baby's feelings of gratitude and love disappear, the feelings of envy, jealousy and greed are reinforced.
In the feeling of envy, the mother who has bad breasts There is no usurping the breast, there is only infecting that breast with evil. The first object of intercourse is the feeding breast. The baby thinks that this breast contains everything he desires, that the breast can give unlimited milk and love, but he withholds these for his own satisfaction. This feeling increases the baby's resentment and hatred, resulting in a distorted relationship with the mother. The feeling of spoiling and destroying the mother's creativity predominates. A person filled with feelings of envy spoils, impoverishes and almost poisons his environment.
In greed, there is an endless breast fantasy towards which all the baby's desires are directed. The baby has a feeling that the mother has deprived him. This is a feeling that a good breast keeps milk, love and affection for itself... The greedy nature unconsciously tends to constantly empty the breast, suck and consume all the milk until it dries up and swallow it whole. There should be nothing left on the other side. The term greedy is used for children who continue to suck even though they are full. This situation can spread to every area of your life. All objects in its target must be captured. It must be the most beautiful. He must be the wealthiest. Everything material and spiritual that is known as the best and most beautiful should be his. He tries desperately to capture them. Without ever being satisfied, because the end of things never ends.
An individual who has overcome the feeling of envy and greed has reached a more mature level of jealousy. A jealous individual does not feel the feeling of destroying, destroying or polluting beauty. As in greed, he does not desire to have everything his own and have nothing left for the other person. What he wants is to have the same thing that someone else has. He is as wealthy as his neighbor, as successful as his neighbor and at least as happy as him.
When the individual who has a good object, that is, a good breast, establishes good relations with the mother's breast, he reaches the feeling of gratitude, which is a very important derivative of the ability to love. This feeling is an indispensable factor in communicating with the good object. It allows the person to see the goodness in both himself and others. The origin of gratitude lies in the emotions and attitudes of the first stages of infancy, during which the only object for the baby is the mother. This early bond is the basis for all subsequent love and affection relationships. External conditions partially determine how long the baby's relationship with the mother will last. The ability to love is innate. Destructive influences and intense feelings of envy can damage this special relationship with the mother at an early stage. If the envy of the feeding breast is strong, full satisfaction and contentment is prevented.
What forms the basis of the feeling of gratitude and love is satisfaction. The happiness a baby feels while sucking the breast is the basis of gratitude. The basis of all kinds of love and friendship relationships is the process of integration with another person, that is, the process of integration with the breast in the first object relationship. The relationship with the breast, the relationship established with the eyes with the mother before the speech period, and the first period of closeness, forms the basis of other relationships.
It is not a very beneficial situation for the mother to be too fussy and anxiously give milk to a baby every time it cries. The baby feels the mother's anxiety, which increases the baby's own anxiety. Just as it is not right to feed the baby by making it cry and worry, it is also an unhealthy approach to constantly put the breast in the baby's mouth without giving the child the opportunity to discharge himself. A frustration that is not excessive is also the adaptation of the baby to the outside world and the development of the sense of reality. The baby needs to be strengthened and supported in the process of sucking and meeting the needs of the breast. The baby needs to experience some conflict. Overcoming the conflict is the most basic element of creativity. Peaceful, uninterrupted, calm and satisfying breast feeding is the introjection of the good breast. The complete satisfaction and contentment experienced while at the breast shows that the baby has received a unique gift from the mother and wants to protect it. Gratitude is also associated with trust in people of good nature. This first object is liking and assimilating the breast. While the good object, the breast, that is, the mother, loves and protects the baby, the baby also loves and protects the mother, that is, the breast. There is a close bond between gratitude and generosity. Assimilation of the good object, the breast, increases inner wealth. It gives the opportunity to share the gifts of this object with others. Enjoying sharing love is one of the most important characteristics of gratitude.
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