Confident child; It means a happy child who does not hesitate to express his/her thoughts, who can produce alternative solutions, who can recognize his/her limits correctly, who can feel that he/she has endless love, who has not lost his motivation to always do better.
1.To raise a self-confident child. First of all, you should know your child accurately and objectively, and your expectations should be realistic and appropriate to the child's age. Ex. Do not expect your child to collect the toys he distributed when he was 3 years old.
2. Remember that children show different characteristics depending on their age. Ex. Children under the age of 3 may not be able to share their toys.
3. Do not compare your child with other children or peers. Would you like it if they compared you to other parents? Think about it.
4. Children need to hear exactly what we expect from them in the learning process. Details and examples can be given in this process. Remember that you also set an example in this regard. Ex. Explain in advance that when you go to the theater, he will have to wait his turn and that he should not speak loudly.
5. Explain to the child what awaits him in the environments he will encounter for the first time, so that he does not feel inadequate in society if he has incompatibilities and gets criticized because he does not know.
6.Towards the child with games. Experiment with the behaviors. Ex. Imagine that you are going to a crowded place and show that the person in front of him can use sentences such as 'Will you allow me' instead of pushing him to pass.
7. Children may change their behavior in certain situations and have difficulty in following the rules. Ex. They can be impatient when they are tired, sleepless, or hungry. Apply tolerance to some of their behavior in these situations. Showing the right attitude towards your child does not mean that you will break these rules.
8. To avoid having to worry about your children going to school in the morning and not communicating with your child in a way you do not want (e.g. I'm tired of you, do I have to wake you up every morning?) the evening and the children. Complete your own preparations before waking up.
9. If your child is young, help him prepare his clothes and school bag in the evening.
10. Don't worry about getting ready in the morning. Do not add negative conflicts such as 'you didn't eat'. Try to compensate for this need in other meals. Remember, even most adults are reluctant to have breakfast in the morning.
11. Help children take active roles and responsibilities in applying the rules. E.g. Put an alarm clock in his room to wake him up in the morning, and leave it to your child to adjust the amount of food if you want him to taste all of the food. 12. Be careful that the rules you set do not turn into 'rules of communication' between you and your child after a while. Remember that some things will be learned from you by setting a good example, or the behavior will be reinforced when they appreciate the things they do. Otherwise, you may experience very intense conflicts with a child who perceives everything as rules. Remember that a child who has many rules at home may also be rebellious against the rules at school.
13. Asking children's opinions and emphasizing that they have a different perspective will make them feel more important and their shyness in expressing themselves in social environments will decrease.
14. Make children feel that their choices are also important. Ex. The music group they listen to, the clothes they wear.
15. Children should know what they will encounter when the rules are not followed. Here, care should be taken not to postpone the sanctions to be imposed against non-compliance behavior and not to generalize. Ex. If you play on the computer for more than 2 hours again, banning you from the computer until summer means a punishment that is difficult and unrealistic to implement. This type of punishment is both difficult to implement and increases the possibility of stubbornness in communication. Instead, it would be more appropriate to set short-term limits.
16. It is important for teachers to organize meetings with children and provide information in the first weeks of school so that all children perceive the school and classroom rules correctly.
17. The rules are in line with the eye level that children can see in the classroom.
18. Children should know in advance what might happen if they do not obey the rules.
19. If you cannot explain the rule you have set at that moment, explain it like 'I am your elder and it is my duty to make this decision, there are many reasons that I cannot discuss with you right now.' Then explain why by doing Prepare the environment to explain.
20. Do not neglect or abuse the child physically and/or emotionally (e.g. humiliating, belittling, contempt, constantly criticizing, swearing).
21. When communicating with children, do not neglect or abuse the child. 'broken record technique' can be used. It may be necessary to make similar warnings one after the other. After repeating it 3 times with appropriate and persuasive language, you can state your expectations more decisively and get them to take action. In the beginning, children want to test whether you will maintain your determination.
22. Make your child feel that you value and love him with all his characteristics. Remember that everyone can have positive and negative characteristics.
23. Even if there are problems with our child's behavior and thoughts, it is important for our child to know that he/she has a special place in the family and to feel loved when viewed from the perspective of love.
24. CRITICIZE THEIR BEHAVIOR, NOT YOUR CHILD. . Ex. Instead of 'You are a bad child, you are hitting your sibling', 'It is not right to hit your sibling'. 25. Do not criticize children in a hurtful way in front of their friends in the classroom. In this case, other children will focus more on your student's negative characteristics and may exclude him/her. 26. Give him/her the opportunity to make mistakes without feeling guilty. Ex. Inform the child about mistakes in homework without blaming him, or make him aware of them. When the child's mistakes decrease, make him/her feel that you notice this and that he/she has succeeded.
27. Use encouraging messages for the child's appropriate behavior. E.g. Well done, you are very diligent today, you have tidied up your room very well, I was happy to hear that you participated in the lessons more when I met with your teacher.
28. While using encouraging messages, social rewards such as smiling, hugging, kissing, making eye contact are very effective in strengthening a desired behavior. Be careful to use it as well. Remember that over time, material rewards lose their former appeal. 29. Discouraging messages should not be given to children. Ex. It's always your fault, you never listen to me. These situations cause feelings of shame or guilt, prevent cooperation, and activate feelings of resistance and revenge. 30. ME when explaining your feelings and thoughts. Talk to LI. Ex. 'How can you do this? 'I don't understand why you're doing this' instead of 'What kind of a child are you?' 31. Give your child limited options. It is one of the effective methods for children to listen and cooperate. Since the child is given the chance to choose, he thinks that he is in control and enjoys doing what he chooses. It helps the child gain self-discipline and develop the ability to make the right decisions.
32. Try to be a good listener for your child. Try to empathize by saying, 'What would I think and feel if I were in his place?'
33. Express that you understand your child's feelings. E.g. You seem angry because I told you that you should eat vegetables, but…'
34. Ask helpful questions to help the child think about his problems and come to his own solutions. Ex. How do you plan to solve this problem?
35. Show alternative behaviors that young children can do instead of negative behavior. Ex. Tell them what to do instead of telling them not to do it.
36. To help children finish an activity, give them time to mentally prepare for this change. Ex. Shake 3 more times and we go home.
37. Apply the principle of 'business before fun'. Ex. Making a cake together after collecting their toys.
38. Notes and shapes are good ways to ensure your child's cooperation. Ex. Note on forgetting to make the bed.
39. If your child shows negative behavior, try to understand the underlying reasons for this behavior and take precautions.
40. Try not to lose control. Aggressive attitudes (e.g. beating) and words (e.g. humiliating) do not have the power to correct the child's behavior.
41. If you are having a day when you have no tolerance or if you want to spare a short period of time for yourself, take precautions in advance and explain the situation to your child. Ex. I'm very tired today, I want you to play without noise.
42. Give yourself time to think. Ex. I need to think about this issue a bit.
43. In case the rules are broken, make sure that the consequences you apply are used appropriately and in the right place. Ex. If he went out without your permission He may be banned from going out for a few days.
44. Try to avoid empty threats that you cannot carry out, or do not use a situation that you cannot implement as a tool of fear and pressure. Ex. I won't bring you to the playground again.
45.Use humor. Children more easily accept things said to them jokingly. However, care should be taken to ensure that the joke does not cause ridicule.
46. If possible, use the word 'yes' instead of the word 'no'. Ex. Yes, you can eat chocolate, but after dinner.
47. Make an explanation about the situation. Ex. I need to make our dinner first, I know you will wait for me.
48. If possible, let the child see the results. Ex. Look, our box is empty, there is no chocolate left.
48. Be a good example for your child. Because children observe their parents' behavior and repeat their behavior.
Let's raise our children by being a good model, checking what they follow, helping them choose friends, developing appropriate coping methods, allowing them to be responsible for their behavior, and making them feel loved no matter what they do.
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