Relationships between men and women are exciting when they first begin. With the spouses trying to get to know each other and the joyful and entertaining lifestyle experienced at this stage, a happy life that is thought to last forever begins. However, as time progresses, things that used to be exciting will no longer be as enjoyable as they used to be. Over time, couples begin to engage in life's routines such as cooking, cleaning, going grocery shopping, and raising children. The days when they devoted their time primarily to each other are slowly fading away. Other pursuits take over the relationship and couples forget about things that will keep the passion alive. At this stage, everyone thinks the same thing: Why is nothing the same as before? But still, do not despair.
The question we are asked most is this: "To what do you attribute the breakdown of marriage or relationships? Economic difficulties? Inability to talk? Lack of money? Jealousy? Infidelity? Indifference? Lack of education "Personality conflict?" Most of these are symptoms. The real cause is anything that weakens the bonds of love, respect and trust. The ingredients of the mortar that holds two people together consist of love, respect and trust.
There is no problem between you and the person you love, at least on the surface... But your relationship becomes unpleasant with each passing day... You woke up at six in the morning, worked non-stop throughout the day, When you return home in the evening, you can't even lift a finger. Moreover, the man with whom you are madly in love and with whom you share the same house is also in this situation... Especially if there are children, meeting their needs, feeding and drinking, putting them to sleep... Then, while he was staring blankly at the television, you cleared the table, glanced at the newspaper, and managed to spend the whole night without speaking. Because you were absolutely in no mood to talk. Then you felt sleepy early and you threw yourself into bed and "passed out."
If your nights start to pass like this, it means that you are faced with a typical problem of the modern world. The reflection of the intense and tiring pace of business life on your relationship will cause unreasonable arguments, tense nerves and fights, and will even start to alienate you from each other. Because the communication between you happens unconsciously, without the will of either of you. It broke right away. Now you have become too lazy to even talk, to ask him how his day was and to listen to what he has to say. A high "wall of fatigue" has formed between you and this wall gets higher every day. However, the moments shared together are the things that keep a relationship alive.
Love is a fire. It needs to be constantly burned and fed. Just as the fire goes out when it is not taken care of, the fire of love goes out. The first thing that ignites love is attention. It means valuing fire and taking care of it. Everyone has a house where they live. Constant care and attention is required to protect the house from collapse and wear. If left undone, the house will fall apart. If its repair is postponed, deterioration will begin. Paint and whitewashing is required at regular intervals. Just as an object or a car can be destroyed due to indifference, love, which is the most important bond in human relations, will disintegrate and decay if it is not given constant care and attention.
When people in relationships lose interest in each other, they direct their attention to other things.
Children, career, household goods, sports, fashion, house cleaning, passion for cars, fame, wealth... In such cases, the marriage will remain neglected because it is neglected and wear and tear, malfunctions, that is, problems will begin.
An individual who is focused on business success. When a person gets married, he or she may feel mental regret when faced with the "real world" of devoting time and attention to his or her spouse. If the man is selfish, trouble will begin. As a reason for not spending time at home, he says, "I am already working for you, I have no other choice but to fight for bread." If he does not think that he can have a quality relationship, even if short, and success in both business and home, storms will begin. Are men the only ones who are uninterested? Of course not... It is not uncommon for wives who are too caught up in the house and belongings, or who do not say "Welcome" to their husbands because they are busy taking care of the children. If a man who is with well-groomed and glamorous women all day long is with a woman who is a good mother, a good housewife, but not a good wife and friend at home for a long time, he will start to question the marriage.
In order for the relationship to last a long time, the parties will be equal and equal. It is important to have. There is only one exception to this, "Feelings of Friendship". People whom you cannot call husband and wife when they stand side by side share like that. They feel very happy and safe when they are together...
After love was found in such people, it could be nourished with some customs and behaviors.
The most important feature of friendship behavior is trying to please 'him'. To make efforts in accordance with his tastes, wishes and expectations. Buying small gifts. Knowing that the most important gift is the time devoted to it. Keeping your own interests in the background. The most important sincere, unrequited, sincere love.
Mevlana says, "People understand each other with their feelings, not with what they say." Emotions are perhaps the most common point of humanity in the universe. The more ideas, ideologies, thoughts and judgments change, the more common the emotions are. Perhaps the main reason for conflicts in the world is not being able to talk with emotions. It is possible for spouses to make their voices heard by complying with this universal rule. It is necessary to share feelings, not judgments. Spouses who can achieve this can make their marriages happier, more fulfilling and more sharing.
The more I write, the more details to write... I would like to end this topic with an important observation, before returning again;The best lovers are not the most emotional people. Let's not forget that it is the people who spend the most time and trust each other.
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